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Why did the turkey join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
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What's the best thing to put into a Thanksgiving pie?
Your teeth.
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Why didn't the pilgrims eat the turkey for lunch?
Because they were too stuffed from breakfast.
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What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
Quit gobbling me up!
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Why did the cranberry turn red?
Because it saw the turkey stuffing.
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What do you call a turkey that can predict the weather?
A meteorologist gobbler.
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Why did the Thanksgiving football game get cancelled?
Because the turkey took the field.
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What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
Stop being so sappy!
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Why was the Thanksgiving parade so late?
Because the turkey took too long to get dressed.
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How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
Tell it you'll tell it about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.
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What do you call a sad strawberry on Thanksgiving?
A blueberry.
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Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
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What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving dinner?
I'm stuffed!
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Why was the cook ashamed on Thanksgiving?
Because he dropped the yams.
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What do you get if you cook a turkey and a peacock together?
A poultry-geist.
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Why did the corn on the cob blush on Thanksgiving?
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What did the turkey say when it saw the knife?
That's sharp! But I'm not too sharp.
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Why do turkeys have feathers?
To cover their drumsticks.
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What did the gravy say to the turkey?
You're my main course.
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Why was the Thanksgiving table so messy?
Because the turkey had a food fight with the stuffing.
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What do you call a turkey that goes to college?
A grad-u–gobbler.
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Why did the pilgrim bring a ladder to the Thanksgiving feast?
To get to the high-falutin' turkey talk.
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How does a turkey answer the phone?
Gobble-gobble.
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What did the plate say to the fork on Thanksgiving?
You've got a point!
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Why did the sweet potato turn orange?
Because it saw the turkey baster.
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What did the turkey say after winning a race?
I'm a gobbling champion!
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Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so loud?
Because everyone was trying to talk turkey.
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What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A tur-jo.
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Why did the turkey get arrested?
For gobbling up all the pie.
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What did the leftover turkey say to the refrigerator?
I feel cold.
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Why do we serve turkey on Thanksgiving?
Because chicken is too chicken to show up.
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What did the pumpkin say to the pie crust?
You complete me.
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Why did the turkey sit on the pumpkins?
Because he wanted to become a pumpkin pie.
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What do you call a turkey that plays the saxophone?
A gobblin' sax man.
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Why did the Thanksgiving toast take so long?
Because the turkey kept interrupting.
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How do you make a turkey stop gobbling?
Put it in the oven.
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What did the cranberry sauce say to the turkey?
I'm berry grateful for you.
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Why did the turkey go to the doctor?
Because it had a drumstick ache.
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What do you call a turkey that tells jokes?
A stand-up comedian gobbler.
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Why was the pilgrim mad at the turkey?
Because it forgot to say 'gobble you'.
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What did the oven say to the turkey on Thanksgiving?
You're done.
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Why did the stuffing join a gym?
To get more shredded.
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What do you call a turkey that loves Halloween?
A gobblin' ghost.
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Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?
Because it was afraid of a fowl hand.
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What did the mashed potatoes say to the fork?
You're always picking on me!
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Why was the Thanksgiving family so quiet?
Because everyone was in a food coma.
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What did the turkey say to the star—the ambassador?
I'm thankful you're here.
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Why did the turkey bring a map to dinner?
Because it wanted to find the dark meat.
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What do you call a turkey that sings?
A gobblin' crooner.
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Why did the pie cry on Thanksgiving?
Because it saw the fork coming.