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Why did the musician get locked out of his house?
Because he left his keys on the piano.
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What do you call a fish that plays the guitar?
A bass player.
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Why are pianos so good at keeping secrets?
Because they have so many keys.
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How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
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Why did the guitar teacher go to jail?
For fingering a minor.
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What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish.
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Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
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How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
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Why did the drummer break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t like his beat.
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What’s a musician’s favorite type of cheese?
Cheddar, because it’s sharp.
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Why do bagpipers march while playing?
To get away from the noise.
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What do you call a singing detective?
A melody spy.
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Why did the opera singer go to the bank?
To get a loan note.
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How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
The knock keeps accelerating.
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Why did the violin break up with the cello?
It wanted a higher relationship.
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What’s a music teacher’s favorite candy?
Treble chews.
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Why did the composer always carry a pencil?
To draw rests.
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What do you call a guitar made of gold?
A heavy metal.
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Why did the singer bring a ladder to the concert?
To reach the high notes.
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How do you stop a trumpet player from playing?
Take away their mouthpiece.
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What’s a trumpet’s favorite vegetable?
A leek.
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Why did the trombone player quit his job?
He couldn’t handle the slide.
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What do you call a musician who’s always late?
A tardy tune.
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Why are music notes so good at math?
They know how to count.
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What do you call a fake note?
An imposter scale.
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Why did the conductor get kicked out of the orchestra?
He kept waving his arms too fast.
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What do you get when you cross a bassist and a pianist?
A double bass player.
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Why did the music stand get a raise?
It was always holding things up.
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What’s a piano’s favorite type of weather?
Hurricane, because it has a lot of keys.
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Why did the banjo player get kicked out of the band?
He kept picking fights.
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How does a music teacher say goodbye?
Alto later.
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What’s a drummer’s favorite food?
Rhythmic beans.
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Why did the note go to the doctor?
It had a flat.
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What do you call a song about a car?
A car tune.
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Why did the musician go to the gym?
To work on his bicep exercises.
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How do you make a guitar laugh?
Tickling its frets.
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What’s a music lover’s favorite time?
Beat time.
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Why did the choir director stand on his head?
To see the high notes.
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What do you call a guitar that’s afraid of the dark?
A nervous fret.
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Why did the music teacher go to the bank?
To get his quarterly note.
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How do you know if a drummer is in your house?
The toilet flushes rhythmically.
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What’s a musician’s favorite type of math?
Scale.
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Why did the singer get a pen?
To write a hook.
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What do you call a saxophone that’s out of tune?
A sax you can’t trust.
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Why did the cello player cross the road?
To get to the other bow.
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What’s a jazz musician’s favorite type of sand?
Sand dunes.
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Why did the notes flee from the paper?
They were scared of the rests.
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What do you call a musician who’s also a locksmith?
A key player.
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Why did the drummer put his drumsticks in the freezer?
He wanted to play cool beats.