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Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with.
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What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
I love you from head to toe—but mostly head to neck.
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How do skeletons get the news?
They read the dead lines.
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Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
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What does a skeleton do before a big meal?
He bones up on his appetite.
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Why was the skeleton so calm?
Nothing got under his skin.
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How do skeletons stay in touch?
They use cell phones—their own.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trom-bone.
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Why are skeletons terrible liars?
You can see right through them.
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What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
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How do skeletons pay for things?
They use their bone-us cards.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
Bone appetit—extra crispy.
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Why don't skeletons play music in church?
They have no soul.
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What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
Lazy bones.
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Why do skeletons love Halloween?
It’s the one time they fit in.
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How do skeletons bake a cake?
They follow the bare bones recipe.
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What did the skeleton tell the doctor?
I’ve got a bone to pick.
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Why are skeletons excellent secret keepers?
They have no loose lips.
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What did the skeleton say when asked to dance?
I’m all bone and no rhythm.
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Why do skeletons avoid spicy food?
They can’t handle the heat—no skin.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite game?
Hide and seek—they're good at being hollow.
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How do skeletons greet each other?
Bone-jour!
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What did the skeleton say when he won the lottery?
This is a rib-eting experience!
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Why did the skeleton sit in the corner?
He was feeling a little down—bone-tired.
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What does a skeleton wear to a formal event?
A tuxedo—but no bow tie, it’s already a necktie.
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Why do skeletons hate the beach?
Too many sand-y bones.
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What’s a skeleton’s least favorite vegetable?
Spinach—it reminds them of their own structure.
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Why don't skeletons take selfies?
They always look bare-faced.
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How do skeletons tell time?
With a bone-dial.
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What did the skeleton say to the ghost?
You're just a transparent copy of me.
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Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend?
She was always getting on his nerves—which he doesn't have.
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What do you call a skeleton that tells jokes?
A rib-tickler.
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Why do skeletons sleep so well?
They have no worries—just a bed of bones.
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What's a skeleton's favorite type of math?
Geometry—all those angles.
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How do skeletons fix a fence?
With post holes—no, wait, that's for skulls.
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What song do skeletons love?
Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones.
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Why did the skeleton go to the gym?
To build up his marrow.
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What do skeletons say after a good meal?
I'm stuffed—but I'm still hollow.
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Why don't skeletons ever get into trouble?
They always land on their feet—no, they don't have feet.
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite day of the week?
Bone Friday—get it?
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How do skeletons travel?
By bone train—it’s the bare essential.
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What do you call a skeleton who can play piano?
A bone-a-fide genius.
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Why did the skeleton study for the exam?
He wanted to be a head of the class.
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What's a skeleton's favorite kind of story?
A spine-tingler.
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How do skeletons make coffee?
They use a bone-a-filter.
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Why are skeletons good at poker?
They never tip their hand—no flesh.
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What did one skeleton say to the other?
I've got a bone to pick with you—literally.
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Why did the skeleton visit the dentist?
He needed a cheek-up.
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What's a skeleton's biggest fear?
That someone will clean out his closet.