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Why did the pizza go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little crusty.
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What do you call a pizza that's afraid of everything?
A chicken supreme.
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Why did the pizza break up with the salad?
It was too cheesy.
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What did the pepperoni say to the cheese?
You're grate!
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How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
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Why was the pizza so good at math?
It could divide itself into slices.
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What do you call a pizza with no toppings?
Plain boring.
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Why did the pizza cross the road?
To get to the other slice.
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How do you make a pizza laugh?
Tell it a funny crust story.
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What's a pizza's favorite song?
"Slice, Slice Baby."
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Why did the pizza get a ticket?
It was caught loafing.
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What do you call a fake pizza?
A bluff-zone.
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Why did the pizza refuse to fight?
It didn't want to get toasted.
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How does a pizza say hello?
"How do you do, crust you seeing me?"
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What did the pizza dough say to the baker?
You really know how to roll me out.
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Why did the pizza love the oven?
It was hot and knew how to turn it on.
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What do you get when you cross a pizza and a snake?
A pizza that hisses when you try to cut it.
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Why did the pizza go to the gym?
To work on its crust.
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What did the cheese say when it saw the pizza?
Oh, you're looking very gouda today.
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How do you compliment a pizza?
Say, "You're really something special, no slice about it."
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Why did the pizza fail its driving test?
It kept turning in circles.
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What do you call a pizza that's been left out too long?
A cold case.
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Why did the pizza go to art school?
To learn how to arrange toppings beautifully.
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What's a pizza's favorite movie?
The Godfather, because it's all about the family and the oven.
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Why did the pizza get promoted?
It was always on top of things.
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What do you call a pizza with a bad attitude?
A crusty piece of work.
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How do you make a pizza more interesting?
Add a little extra cheese and a pun.
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Why did the pizza win the race?
Because it was ahead of the crust.
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What did the pizza say after a long day?
I'm exhausted, I need a slice of peace.
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Why did the pizza go to the doctor?
It had a bad case of the crusts.
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What's a pizza's favorite game?
Slice and seek.
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Why did the pizza get a trophy?
For being so versatile.
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How does a pizza order food?
It calls for delivery.
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What did the pizza say to the hungry customer?
I'm ready to be devoured, just don't judge my toppings.
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Why did the pizza blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
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What do you call a pizza that plays guitar?
A rock 'n' roll pie.
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Why did the pizza stop playing cards?
It was tired of being dealt a bad hand of toppings.
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How does a pizza propose?
It says, "You're the pepperoni to my cheese."
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What's a pizza's favorite type of music?
Anything with a good beat you can slice to.
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Why did the pizza go to the party?
To be the life of the pie.
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What do you call a pizza that can predict the future?
A fortune teller with extra cheese.
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Why did the pizza get kicked out of the comedy club?
Its jokes were too cheesy.
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How do you make a pizza angry?
Order it without cheese.
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What did the pizza say when it fell off the table?
I'm down for the count, but I'll bounce back.
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Why did the pizza go to the casino?
To try its luck at the slot machines, hoping for a jackpot of toppings.
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What do you call a pizza that's very confident?
A self-rising star.
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Why did the pizza get a sunburn?
It stayed in the oven too long.
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How does a pizza apologize?
It says, "I'm sorry, I got a little crusty there."
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What did the pizza say when asked if it was organic?
I'm free-range, mostly.
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Why did the pizza go to the thriple?
To find its missing slice.