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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim.
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What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
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Why was the Christmas cookie sad?
Because its mom was a wafer.
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What does Santa do when his elves get rowdy?
He gives them the sack.
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Why do reindeer have bad manners?
Because they always say 'Ho ho ho' instead of 'Please' and 'Thank you'.
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What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Why was the little Christmas tree so excited?
It couldn't wait to be decorated.
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How do you know if a Christmas tree has been naughty?
It leaves a trail of needles.
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What's the best thing about Christmas?
Santa's beard – it's a natural white.
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Why did Santa go to the doctor?
Because he had a red nose and couldn't stop ho-ho-ho-ing.
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What do you call a snowman that tells jokes?
A punny snowman.
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Why was the Christmas stocking anxious?
Because it was hanging by a thread.
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What did the Christmas lights say to the tree?
You light up my life.
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Why don't Christmas jokes get old?
Because they're always current.
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What does an elf do after school?
His gnomework.
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Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
To get to the other side of the plate.
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What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
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Why was the Christmas wreath so popular?
Because it had a lot of class.
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How does Santa take his coffee?
With plenty of milk and two lumps of coal.
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What do you call a Christmas comedy show?
Yule-larious.
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Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
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What's a Christmas elf's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
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Why are Christmas trees so bad at hiding?
Because they always leave a trail of needles.
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How do snowmen greet each other?
Ice to meet you.
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What does Santa do when his beard gets in the way?
He gives it a little trim.
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Why was the Christmas present so upset?
Because it was all wrapped up.
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What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
No idea.
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Why did the Christmas candle go out?
Because it had a meltdown.
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What's a snowman's favorite drink?
Iced tea.
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How did the Christmas tree get to the party?
It was driven by a sleigh.
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Why don't elves ever tell secrets?
Because they're always working in the workshop.
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What did the Christmas card say to the envelope?
You've got me covered.
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Why was the Christmas wreath so confident?
Because it had a lot of circle.
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What does a snowman call his girlfriend?
A snowflake.
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Why did Santa put his sleigh in the garage?
Because it needed a lubricant.
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What's a Christmas elf's favorite game?
Hide and seek – they're good at wrapping.
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Why was the Christmas movie so funny?
It had a lot of reindeer puns.
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What do you call a snowman that's been melted and frozen again?
A recycled snowman.
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Why did the Christmas lights fight?
They couldn't see eye to eye.
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What's Santa's favorite type of math?
Ho ho ho-gebra.
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How do you know if a Christmas joke is good?
It sleighs.
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Why was the Christmas stocking so hungry?
Because it was stuffed with nothing but air.
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What do you call a Christmas tree that sings?
A tree-ble.
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Why did the elf stop playing games?
He was board.
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How does Santa get ready for Christmas Eve?
He rehearses his Ho Ho Ho.
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What did the snowman say to the child?
You're cool.
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Why are Christmas cookies so good at keeping secrets?
Because they're crumbly.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with a pig?
A porky pine.
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Why did the Christmas turkey join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
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What's a reindeer's favorite game?
Polo – because it involves a lot of ho-ho-hops.