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Why did the bear bring a pencil to the cave?
To draw a conclusion about hibernation.
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What do you call a bear that's always on time?
A punctual grizzly.
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How do bears keep their fur looking so good?
They use honey conditioner.
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Why don't bears ever get lost?
They always follow the bearings.
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What did the mama bear say about her cub's report card?
You’ve got to be claw-some to improve.
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Why did the bear sit on the ice cream?
He wanted a cold Popsicle.
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What's a bear's favorite type of sandwich?
Peanut butter and honey on rye.
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How does a bear get a job?
He paws-esses the right skills.
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Why do bears hate fast food?
They prefer to forage slowly.
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What did the bear say when he saw the snowstorm?
This is unbearable.
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Why did the bear cross the road?
To get to the other beehive.
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How do bears celebrate their birthdays?
They throw a paw-ty with lots of honey.
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What do you get when a bear sits on a cake?
A bear-claw pastry.
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Why did the bear go to the dentist?
To check his bear-y bad breath.
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What's a bear's favorite movie?
The Honey-Mooners.
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Why did the bear wear a yellow coat?
To avoid being mistaken for a grizzly.
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How do bears navigate the internet?
They use a browser called Bear-Fox.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
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Why did the bear get a ticket?
He was caught littering honey wrappers.
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How do bears apologize?
They say ‘I bear-g your pardon.’
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What did the bear say after a big meal?
That was un-bear-ably delicious.
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Why do bears sleep so much in winter?
They're practicing for their big bear-market nap.
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What do you call a bear that plays the piano?
A Beethoven bear.
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Why did the bear go to the library?
To check out books on paw-spective.
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How do bears vote?
They put their paws up for the best candidate.
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What is a bear’s favorite game?
Hide and seek in the berry patch.
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Why did the bear break up with the squirrel?
She wanted a more stable nut-ure.
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What do you call a bear that’s a great musician?
A kodiak star.
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Why don't bears use smartphones?
They prefer grizzly-phone service.
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What did the bear say to the salmon?
You’re my main-squeeze in the stream.
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How do bears communicate long distance?
They use a paw-mail system.
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Why did the bear refuse to fight?
He believed in bear-it all out peacefully.
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What's a bear's favorite style of music?
Heavy metal — it reminds him of clanging honey pots.
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How do bears always find good food?
They follow their nose and their paws.
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Why did the bear skip school?
He was feeling a little bear-y sick.
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What do you call a bear that can dance?
A boogey bear.
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Why did the bear paint his cave blue?
He wanted to have a bear-y blue abode.
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How do bears measure their height?
In bear-feet, of course.
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What did the bear say when he won the lottery?
This is un-bear-ably lucky!
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Why did the bear take up yoga?
To improve his bear-sana flexibility.
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What do you call a bear that’s a computer expert?
A cyber-bear.
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Why did the bear put on sunscreen?
To avoid a bear-n.
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How do bears stay in shape?
They do heavy lifting with logs.
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What did the bear say about the garden?
These vegetables are paw-some.
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Why did the bear bring a spoon to the forest?
To eat some bear-y jam.
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What do you call a bear that’s a chef?
A master of bear-naise.
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Why did the bear join the band?
He wanted to play the bear-itone horn.
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How do bears end their letters?
Sincerely, your bear friend.
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What did the bear say to the clumsy cub?
You’ll get the hang of it — just keep your paws steady.
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Why did the bear start a blog?
To share his thoughts on bear-ternity leave.