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What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
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Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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Where do fish keep their money?
In the riverbank.
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Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
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What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars.
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How do fish get to school?
They take the octopus.
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What kind of fish is best for making music?
A bass.
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Why don’t fish like basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net.
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What did the ocean say to the fish?
Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
Sofishticated.
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Why did the fish cross the reef?
To get to the other tide.
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What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
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Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
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What's a fish's favorite game?
Salmon Says.
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How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a joke about a reel.
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What do you call a fish that can play piano?
A tuna.
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Why did the fish go to the party?
To have a whale of a time.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
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Why did the fish stop telling jokes?
It kept flopping.
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What do you call a fish that practices law?
A jura-swordfish.
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How do fish greet each other?
They wave their fins.
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What do you give a sick fish?
Tank medicine.
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Why don't fish play piano?
They're afraid of the scales.
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What's a fish's favorite kind of sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the fish break up with the octopus?
Too many arms in the relationship.
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How do you catch a fish?
Use a fishing rod—it’s a reel-y good time.
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What do you call a fish that loves to dance?
A groper.
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Why are fish terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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What's a fish's favorite movie?
The Little Mermaid—it's about a real starfish.
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How do fish pay their bills?
With sea-notes.
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What do you call a fish that can do magic?
A carp-e diem.
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Why are fish always so cool?
Because they have their own current.
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What did the fish say when it won an award?
I'd like to thank the academy… of the ocean.
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Why did the fish take a bath?
It was feeling a bit koi.
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What's a fish's favorite subject?
Oceanography—it's a water course.
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How do you know if a fish is rich?
It has a goldfish.
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What do you call a fish that's always in trouble?
A delinquent minnow.
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Why did the fish refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of the shark.
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What do you get from a lazy fish?
A sloth-fish.
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What's a fish's favorite kind of music?
Rock and eel.
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Why do fish avoid the internet?
Too many phishing scams.
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How do fish stay informed?
They read the daily fin.
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What's a fish's least favorite room?
The living room—too many corals.
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Why did the fish go to the doctor?
It had a sinking feeling.
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What do you call a fish that can build things?
A con-structor.
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How do fish celebrate birthdays?
They have a blowout with a whale.
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What's a fish's favorite type of story?
A fairy tail—with a mermaid ending.
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Why are fish so good at keeping secrets?
Because they can clam up.
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What do you call a fish that's afraid of everything?
A chicken of the sea.