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Why do ghosts hate parties in the rain?
Because they get damp spirits.
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What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.
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Why did the vampire get a job at the bakery?
He needed some dough for his blood supply.
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What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
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How do you catch a unique ghost?
Unique up on him.
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Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll unwind.
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What do you call a scared zombie?
A nervous reek.
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Why was the pumpkin so good at math?
It had a lot of pumpkin pi.
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What is a ghost's favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie.
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Why did the witch stop using her broom?
She wanted to sweep him off his feet.
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What do you call a monster that eats too much candy?
A sugar ghoul.
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Why did the werewolf refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of the full moon.
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How does a vampire get to school?
By blood vessel.
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What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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What does a ghost wear when it's foggy?
A boo-gle.
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Why don't ghosts tell secrets?
Because they might get caught in the spirit.
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What did the pumpkin say to the carving knife?
You're very cutting.
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How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone.
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Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend?
She was too much of a brain drain.
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What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.
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Why did the vampire stop using his coffin?
It was too grave a situation.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Boo-berries.
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Why did the mummy go to therapy?
To unravel his issues.
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What do you call a werewolf with a cold?
A howl-ling mess.
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Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with.
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What does a sorcerer use to write?
A magic marker.
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Why did the bat get stuck in the cave?
He didn't have a sonar sense.
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What do you call a friendly ghost?
A boo-dy.
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Why did the jack-o'-lantern go to the doctor?
It had a bad gourd.
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How do ghosts keep their skin so smooth?
They use midnight moisturizer.
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What did the skeleton say to the waitress?
I'll have the ribs, please.
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Why did the witch put her cat in the oven?
She wanted a hot feline.
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What do you call a zombie's favorite music?
Rave music.
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Why did the vampire get a ticket?
For stalking without a license.
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How does a pumpkin answer the phone?
Shell-o?
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Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
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What is a ghost's favorite vegetable?
A boo-nion.
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Why did the werewolf get a job as a DJ?
He was great at mixing beats and howls.
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What do you call a very old mummy?
An ancient Egyptian.
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Why did the witch take up gardening?
She wanted to grow her own broomsticks.
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How do you tell if a vampire is lying?
His nose grows… and fangs.
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What did the ghost say to the librarian?
Boo!… Sorry, I was just checking out.
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Why did the skeleton stay home on Halloween?
He didn't have the spine for it.
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What do you call a haunted iPhone?
A ghost app.
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Why did the zombie stop eating brains?
He went on a no-carb diet.
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What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
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Why did the vampire's relationship fail?
He couldn't commit to a single blood type.
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How does a witch keep her hair in place?
With a web spray.
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Why did the skeleton quit his job?
He felt it was all just a waste of bone.