0
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.
0
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
0
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
0
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
0
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems.
0
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
0
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
0
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
0
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
0
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
0
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
0
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
0
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
0
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
0
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
0
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
0
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was stuffed.
0
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
0
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
0
What do you call a crying ice cream?
A meltdown.
0
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well.
0
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A labracadabrador.
0
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
0
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybe.
0
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
0
What do you call a cat that loves to swim?
A sea cat (or a catfish).
0
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had no body to go with.
0
What do you call a mountain lion that's a good dancer?
A rock climber.
0
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
0
What do you call a bear that's stuck in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
0
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
0
What do you call a train made of bubblegum?
A chew-chew train.
0
Why did the frog park illegally?
Because it got toad.
0
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
0
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
0
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
0
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Because he shot the ball.
0
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie?
So-fish-ticated.
0
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
So it could hide in a cherry tree.
0
What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
A moo-sician.
0
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
0
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try-ranosaurus rex.
0
Why did the banana split?
Because it saw the ice cream.
0
What do you call a cheese that belongs to someone else?
Nacho cheese.
0
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because its parents were in a jam.
0
What do you call a book club that's stuck on a mountain?
A cliffhanger.
0
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
0
What do you call a spider that just got married?
A newly-web.
0
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken.
0
What do you call a bird that's stuck in a tree?
A tweet relief.
0
Why did the balloon go to school?
To get blown up.
0
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
0
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his crown fixed.
0
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
0
Why did the lettuce get in trouble?
Because it was green with envy.
0
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humphrey.
0
Why did the baker stop making donuts?
He got tired of the hole thing.
0
What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra.
0
Why did the cough drop go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't feeling well.
0
What do you call a tree that can play the piano?
A tree-ble clef.
0
Why did the pencil go to school?
To get sharp.
0
What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A sour puss.
0
Why did the gardener plant pancakes?
To grow batter.
0
What do you call a bear with no ears?
B.
0
Why did the jellybean go to school?
To become a smartie.
0
What do you call a cow that can't give milk?
A milk dud.
0
Why did the frog call his insurance company?
He had a jump in his car.
0
What do you call a dog that's a detective?
A scooby-doo.
0
Why did the sunscreen go to school?
To get SPF-ducation.
0
What do you call a dinosaur that sleeps all day?
A dino-snore.
0
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a water-melon.
0
What do you call a bear that loves to dance?
A boogie bear.
0
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright.
0
What do you call a fish that can play the guitar?
A bass player.
0
Why did the butter fly?
Because it saw the toast.
0
What do you call a dinosaur that eats a lot?
A din-chow.
0
Why did the rain go to school?
To become a liquid asset.
0
What do you call a bear that's always ready?
A prepared bear.
0
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.
0
What do you call a pig that can fly?
A pork chop (or a helicopter hog).
0
Why did the tree go to the dentist?
To get a root canal.
0
What do you call a cat that can paint?
A purr-casso.
0
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get to the other side of his field.
0
What do you call a frog that's a spy?
A hop-eration agent.
0
Why did the corn go to the doctor?
Because it had an ear infection.
0
What do you call a bear that's a good singer?
A baritone bear.
0
Why did the cloud get in trouble?
Because it was raining on the parade.
0
What do you call a shark that's a magician?
A great white illusionist.
0
Why did the sunflower get a ticket?
For running a stem light.
0
What do you call a cat that's a doctor?
A meow-ologist.
0
Why did the baker cross the road?
To get to the other side of the dough.
0
What do you call a bird that's scared of the dark?
A chicken.
0
Why did the pencil sharpen its skills?
To draw better conclusions.
0
What do you call a dog that's a great chef?
A hot dog.
0
Why did the cow go to the movies?
To see a moo-vie.
0
What do you call a fish that's a musician?
A rock fish.
0
Why did the baseball player go to the bank?
To get his base salary.
0
What do you call a snowman with a carrot nose?
A snowcone.
0
Why did the computer keep sneezing?
It had a bug.
0
What do you call a cat that's a gymnast?
A cat-wheel.
0
Why did the candy go to school?
To become a Smartie.