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What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
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Why did the math book look so sad?
It had too many problems.
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
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What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A labracadabrador.
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
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Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
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Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.
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What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
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Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
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Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
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What do you call a bear that's stuck in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
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Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice.
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What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
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Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
It felt crummy.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were on the house.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
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Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
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What do you call a factory that sells good products?
A satisfactory.
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful musician?
He was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
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Why did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost.
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash.
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What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A sour puss.
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Why did the man get hit by a car?
He was crossing the road.
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What do you call a bear without ears?
B.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
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Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed space.
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
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Why did the boy put his homework in the freezer?
Because it was too cold to handle.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A moosician.
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Why did the woman go to the gym?
To get some exercise.
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What do you call a dog that loves bubbles?
A bubba.
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Why did the man take a ladder to the bar?
He wanted to raise the bar.
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What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humphrey.
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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
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Why did the strawberry cry?
Because its mother was in a jam.
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What do you call a bear that's always early?
A beary punctual.
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Why did the man sit on his watch?
He wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a fish that wears a crown?
A kingfish.
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Why did the man bring string to the party?
To tie one on.
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What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop.
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Why did the man put his watch in the blender?
He wanted to make time fly.
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What do you call a sheep that can sing?
A baa-ritone.
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold cash.
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What do you call a bear that can't see?
A blind bear.
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Why did the man put his car in the microwave?
He wanted a hot rod.
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Why did the man put his phone in the fridge?
He wanted to call someone cold.
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What do you call a cat that can't purr?
A catatonic.
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Why did the man put his shoe in the freezer?
He wanted cold feet.
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What do you call a pig that can fly?
A ham-icopter.
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Why did the man put his hat in the freezer?
He wanted a cool head.
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What do you call a sheep that can't sleep?
A baa-leep.
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Why did the man put his shirt in the freezer?
He wanted a cold shoulder.
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What do you call a bear that can't hear?
A deaf bear.
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Why did the man put his pants in the freezer?
He wanted cold legs.
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What do you call a dog that can't see?
A blind dog.
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Why did the man put his socks in the freezer?
He wanted cold feet.
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What do you call a cat that can't see?
A blind cat.
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Why did the man put his tie in the freezer?
He wanted a cold neck.
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What do you call a pig that can't see?
A blind pig.
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Why did the man put his watch in the freezer?
He wanted to freeze time.
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What do you call a bear that can't talk?
A mime bear.
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Why did the man put his book in the freezer?
He wanted a cold read.
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What do you call a sheep that can't see?
A blind sheep.
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Why did the man put his pen in the freezer?
He wanted a cold signature.
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What do you call a dog that can't hear?
A deaf dog.
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Why did the man put his cat in the freezer?
He wanted a cold cat.
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What do you call a pig that can't hear?
A deaf pig.
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Why did the man put his bird in the freezer?
He wanted a cold bird.
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What do you call a bear that can't smell?
A bear with no nose.
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Why did the man put his fish in the freezer?
He wanted a cold fish.
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What do you call a cat that can't hear?
A deaf cat.
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Why did the man put his mouse in the freezer?
He wanted a cold mouse.
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What do you call a dog that can't smell?
A nose-less dog.
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Why did the man put his snake in the freezer?
He wanted a cold snake.
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What do you call a pig that can't smell?
A nose-less pig.
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Why did the man put his rabbit in the freezer?
He wanted a cold rabbit.
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What do you call a bear that can't see and can't hear?
A blind deaf bear.
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Why did the man put his horse in the freezer?
He wanted a cold horse.
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What do you call a cow that can't see?
A blind cow.
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Why did the man put his goat in the freezer?
He wanted a cold goat.
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What do you call a sheep that can't hear?
A deaf sheep.
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Why did the man put his chicken in the freezer?
He wanted a cold chicken.