0
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo.
0
Why do ghosts hate rain?
It dampens their spirits.
0
What does a vampire fear the most?
Tooth decay.
0
How do you mend a broken Jack-o'-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
0
Why did the ghost go to the party?
For the boos and ghouls.
0
What do skeletons say before dinner?
Bone appétit!
0
Where do mummies go for a swim?
The dead sea.
0
Why are mummies good at keeping secrets?
They're wrapped up in themselves.
0
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.
0
Why don't witches wear flat shoes?
To keep their heels from flying off.
0
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie.
0
How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern.
0
Why did the zombie skip school?
He felt rotten.
0
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
0
Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office.
0
Why don't ghosts like fast food?
They prefer spirit-ual nourishment.
0
What do you call a ghost that haunts the kitchen?
A spook-er.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get some spare ribs.
0
What did the ghost say to the scarecrow?
You're amazing, I'm just a sheet.
0
How do you know when a vampire is sick?
He starts coffin.
0
What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
0
Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
He had a boo-tiful cold.
0
What does a vampire order at a bar?
A Bloody Mary with a wooden stake.
0
Why are witches so good at baseball?
They always hit with a bat.
0
What do you call a ghost that tells jokes?
A boo-mer.
0
Why did the mummy wrap his phone in bandages?
He was afraid of ghost calls.
0
How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch.
0
What do you call a monster that always tells the truth?
Honest-able.
0
Why did the zombie eat a clock?
He had time to kill.
0
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
0
Why did the skeleton stay home from the party?
He had no body to go with.
0
What do ghosts use to open doors?
A skeleton key.
0
Why did the witch paint her house green?
She wanted a haunted house.
0
What do you call a ghost that breaks the law?
A criminal spook.
0
How does a vampire get to work?
By coffin-car.
0
Why don't ghosts like to fly in the rain?
They don't want to be wet blankets.
0
What do you call a zombie who loves the outdoors?
A dead-venturer.
0
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to the other fright.
0
What's a witch's favorite subject?
Spelling.
0
Why did the skeleton throw a party?
He wanted to bone up on his social skills.
0
How do ghosts say goodbye?
See you in the after-life.
0
What do you call a ghost that sits in the corner?
A boo-kend.
0
Why did the vampire stop dating?
He was tired of necking.
0
What do you call a pumpkin that lies?
A squash that fibs.
0
Why are ghosts so good at lying?
Because you can see right through them.
0
What's a mummy's favorite music?
Wrap music.
0
How does a witch make her bed?
With a broom and a spell.
0
What did the ghost say to the little girl?
I'm just here for the boo-fet.
0
Why don't vampires eat garlic bread?
They don't want to bite into a clove.
0
What do you call a spooky tree?
A ghost-wood.
0
Why did the zombie go to the mall?
To buy some brain-dead shoes.
0
How does a vampire brush his teeth?
With a fang brush.
0
What's a ghost's favorite type of music?
Boo-gie woogie.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the pharmacy?
To get some bone-afide medication.
0
What do you call a witch that's afraid of flying?
A grounded witch.
0
Why did the ghost get a job at the bakery?
He was a loaf-ghost.
0
How do monsters tell each other apart?
By their haunts.
0
What do you call a zombie that tells the truth?
A dead-icated liar.
0
Why did the vampire get a dog?
For a bite buddy.
0
What's a ghost's favorite game?
Hide and shriek.
0
Why did the mummy enter the race?
To get a wrap-up.
0
What do you call a scary snowman?
A frost-bite.
0
How does a witch dry her clothes?
On a haunted line.
0
Why don't ghosts use umbrellas?
They prefer to get a little misty.
0
What's a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the movies?
To see the bone-anza.
0
What do you call a ghost that loves math?
A count-ghost.
0
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a hex-aggerated symptom.
0
How do zombies get around?
By dead-icated transportation.
0
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Booz-berry juice.
0
Why did the mummy go to the dance?
To get wrapped up in the music.
0
What do you call a vampire that lives in a cave?
A bat-tered soul.
0
Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend?
She had no guts.
0
How do ghosts clean their houses?
With a boom-box.
0
What's a witch's favorite ride?
A broomstick.
0
Why did the zombie stare at the orange juice?
It said 'concentrate'.
0
What do you call a ghost that can't sleep?
A wide-awake spook.
0
Why did the vampire go to the bar?
For a drink on the rocks.
0
How does a skeleton say hello?
With a bone-chilling wave.
0
What's a witch's favorite candy?
Ghoul-ate.
0
Why don't ghosts play tricks?
They're too boo-ring.
0
What do you call a zombie that's good at sports?
A dead-icated athlete.
0
Why did the mummy go to the bank?
To get a loan for his wrap.
0
How does a ghost open a door?
With a spook-knob.
0
What's a vampire's favorite TV show?
The Walking Dead.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to bring.
0
What do you call a witch that's always early?
A hurry-ghost.
0
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
He wanted a bright idea.
0
How do ghosts travel?
By haunt-away.
0
What's a mummy's favorite type of horse?
A wrap-pony.
0
Why did the vampire get a sunburn?
He forgot his SPF-angs.
0
What do you call a ghost that loves to swim?
A water-booh.
0
Why did the skeleton join the band?
He had a bone to pick.
0
How does a witch make coffee?
With a spell-icious brew.
0
What's a zombie's favorite dessert?
Dead-icated cheesecake.
0
Why did the ghost go to the gym?
To get some boo-ty tone.
0
What do you call a vampire that tells jokes?
A fang-tastic comedian.
0
Why did the mummy go to the museum?
To see his old friends.
0
How do you scare a skeleton?
You can't – he's already dead-icated to the joke.
0
What's a witch's favorite time of day?
Witch-ty-hour.
0
Why did the zombie refuse to play cards?
He always wanted to eat the dealer's brain.
0
What do you call a ghost that's in love?
A boo-ful crush.
0
Why did the vampire buy a new van?
For his blood-sucking business.
0
How does a skeleton solve a mystery?
With bone-afide evidence.
0
What's a witch's favorite exercise?
A flying squirrel.
0
Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend?
She was too possessive – always haunting him.
0
What do you call a zombie that's a chef?
A dead-icated cook.
0
Why did the mummy cross the road?
To get to the wrappery.
0
How do ghosts make a reservation?
By booking a spook.
0
What's a vampire's favorite sport?
Bite-squash.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To show off his moves – bone-shaking.
0
What do you call a witch that's lost?
A where-witch.
0
Why did the zombie go to the library?
To get some brain food.
0
How does a ghost find its way home?
Using a spirit-ometer.
0
What's a mummy's favorite drink?
Wrap-berry juice.
0
Why did the vampire eat garlic?
He wanted to test his self-control.
0
What do you call a ghost that's a baker?
A dough-ghost.
0
Why did the skeleton get a job at the cheese factory?
He was good at making bone-milk.
0
How do witches keep their brooms clean?
With a spell-icant wash.
0
What's a zombie's favorite party game?
Brain charades.
0
Why did the ghost go to the psychologist?
He had an exorcism complex.
0
What do you call a vampire that's a musician?
A fang-string player.
0
Why did the mummy go to the gym?
To get ripped in wraps.
0
How does a skeleton dial a phone?
With a bone-afide number.
0
What's a witch's favorite type of bread?
Ghost-roll.
0
Why did the zombie eat a dictionary?
He wanted to learn some new words for dinner.
0
What do you call a ghost that's a lawyer?
A spook-tacular attorney.
0
Why did the vampire fail his driving test?
He bit the curb.
0
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone.
0
What's a mummy's favorite TV show?
The Wrap-berry Bunch.
0
Why did the witch paint her house orange?
She wanted a pumpkin patch.
0
What do you call a zombie that's always late?
A dead-absolute.
0
How does a ghost measure his weight?
On a spirit-ual scale.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the beach?
To get some bone-ize.
0
What's a vampire's favorite kind of story?
A blood-curdling tale.
0
Why did the mummy go to the doctor?
For a wrap-up appointment.
0
How do you stop a zombie from eating your brain?
Give him a book – he'll be dead-ish.
0
What do you call a ghost that's a chef?
A cook-ghost.
0
Why did the vampire start a band?
He had the rhythm of the night.
0
What's a witch's favorite dance?
The broomstick boogie.
0
Why did the skeleton go to the wedding?
To see the bone-kiss.
0
How does a ghost make a phone call?
With a cell-uloid connection.
0
What do you call a zombie that's a philosopher?
A dead-istic thinker.
0
Why did the vampire go to the gym?
To get some bite-cepts.
0
What's a mummy's favorite holiday?
Wrap-Thanksgiving.
0
Why did the witch go to the bakery?
For a spell-icious pie.
0
How do zombies play chess?
With dead-icated moves.
0
What do you call a ghost that's an artist?
A boo-sketch.