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Why did the phone call 911?
Because it was feeling disconnected!
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What did the electrician say when he dialed 911?
I'm here to fix your short circuit!
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Why did the math teacher dial 911?
Because his students were out of order!
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What did the 911 operator say to the procrastinator?
Sorry, we're all out of tomorrows!
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Why did the scarecrow call 911?
He was outstanding in his field – but a fire broke out!
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How do you make a 911 call in the ocean?
You sea-oh-nine-one-one!
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Why did the baker dial 911?
Because his dough was rising too fast!
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Why did the grape call 911?
Because an elephant sat on it and it was crushed!
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What do you call a person who calls 911 for a broken pencil?
A pointless emergency!
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Why did the skeleton dial 911?
Because he had no body to talk to!
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What did the 911 dispatcher say to the burglar?
You've got the wrong number – this is an emergency line!
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Why did the clock call 911?
Because it was running out of time!
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What do you get when you dial 911 on a banana?
A-peeling emergency!
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Why did the computer call 911?
Because it caught a virus!
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How did the 911 operator know it was a cooking emergency?
Because the caller said, 'I'm in a stew!'
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Why did the musical instrument call 911?
Because it couldn't handle the pressure!
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What did the 911 operator say to the ghost?
Sorry, we can't help you – you're already dead!
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Why did the book dial 911?
Because it had a spine-tingling situation!
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Why did the light bulb call 911?
Because it had a bright idea that went dark!
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What do you call a cow that dials 911?
A moo-mergency!
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Why did the car call 911?
Because it felt a little run down!
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Why did the broom dial 911?
Because it swept away its last straw!
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What did the 911 operator say to the bread?
Don't loaf around – tell me what's wrong!
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Why did the egg call 911?
Because it was about to crack under pressure!
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How did the 911 operator know it was a plumbing emergency?
The caller was in deep water!
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Why did the snowman dial 911?
Because he was melting down!
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What do you call a 911 call made by a cat?
A paw-licical emergency!
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Why did the tree call 911?
Because it was branching out too far!
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Why did the pencil dial 911?
Because it had a lead problem!
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What did the 911 operator say to the window?
I can see right through your story!
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Why did the fish call 911?
Because it was in a school of trouble!
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Why did the doorbell dial 911?
Because it kept getting rung without reason!
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What do you call a 911 call from a bakery?
A roll-out emergency!
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Why did the battery call 911?
Because it was feeling drained!
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Why did the calendar dial 911?
Because it had too many days off!
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What did the 911 operator say to the mouse?
Stop squeaking and tell me the address!
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Why did the feather call 911?
Because it was tickled pink and couldn't stop!
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Why did the river dial 911?
Because it was overflowing with emotion!
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What do you call a 911 call from a librarian?
A shh-erious emergency!
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Why did the mirror call 911?
Because it saw a reflection of trouble!
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Why did the garden dial 911?
Because the weeds were taking over!
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What did the 911 operator say to the blanket?
Don't cover up the facts!
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Why did the coffee cup call 911?
Because it was brewing a crisis!
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Why did the river dial 911?
Because it was in a deep current situation!
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What do you call a 911 call from a painter?
A brush with danger!
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Why did the shoe call 911?
Because it had a sole-scraping problem!
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Why did the star dial 911?
Because it was twinkling too hard!
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What did the 911 operator say to the traffic light?
You've been giving mixed signals!
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Why did the balloon call 911?
Because it was about to pop under stress!
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What do you call a 911 call from a chef?
A simmer-gency!