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Why did the Valentine’s Day card break up with the envelope?
It just wasn’t getting the seal of approval.
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What did the heart say to the chocolate box?
You’re my sweetheart.
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Why did Cupid quit his job?
He couldn’t handle the target practice anymore.
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How do you fix a broken Valentine’s Day card?
With a little love tape.
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What did one rose say to the other rose on Valentine’s Day?
You’re the petals to my stem.
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Why did the couple break up after Valentine’s Day dinner?
The pasta just wasn’t al dente enough for their love.
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What’s Cupid’s favorite type of music?
Arrowant-garde.
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Why did the Valentine’s Day candy heart feel lonely?
None of the other hearts would say its name.
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How does a romantic baker propose on Valentine’s Day?
With a floury ring.
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Why did the chocolate box go to therapy?
It had too many layers of emotion.
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What do you call two lovebirds sharing a heart-shaped pizza?
Crush-onions.
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Why did the Valentine’s Day card blush?
It saw the sender’s signature.
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How does Cupid stay fit?
He does arrow-bics.
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What did the rose say to the thorn on Valentine’s Day?
You’re a sharp part of me.
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Why did the couple choose a candlelit dinner for Valentine’s Day?
They wanted to ignite the spark.
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What’s a vampire’s favorite Valentine’s Day treat?
Neck-laces and blood-orange chocolates.
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Why did the boyfriend bring a ladder on Valentine’s Day?
He wanted to take their relationship to the next level.
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What did the envelope say to the Valentine’s Day card?
You’ve got me all sealed up.
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Why did the chocolate box get a parking ticket?
It was parked in a loading zone of hearts.
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How do you make a Valentine’s Day card extra special?
Write on the inside, not just the outside.
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What does a pickle say on Valentine’s Day?
Dill me in, I’m all ears.
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Why did the couple go to the beach on Valentine’s Day?
They wanted to exchange sand-imonies.
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What’s a dog’s favorite Valentine’s Day gift?
A pup-pie with a bone.
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Why did the candy heart get expelled from school?
It kept saying sweet nothings during class.
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How does a fish celebrate Valentine’s Day?
It goes on a date with its sole mate.
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What did the Valentine’s Day gift say to the wrapping paper?
You really tie me together.
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Why did the baker get a Valentine’s Day card?
He kneaded the dough for a love note.
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What do you call a romantic dinosaur on Valentine’s Day?
Lover-a-saurus.
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Why did the couple name their dog Valentine?
Because he was the heart of their home.
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What did the lipstick say to the kiss on Valentine’s Day?
You leave a lasting impression.
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Why did the arrow refuse to join Cupid’s quiver?
It didn’t want to be pointed at.
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How do you know a relationship is serious on Valentine’s Day?
They share the same Wi-Fi password.
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What’s a mathematician’s favorite Valentine’s Day dessert?
Pi with a sweetheart filling.
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Why did the candy heart go to the gym?
To get a little more definition.
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What did the bouquet say to the vase on Valentine’s Day?
You hold me together.
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Why did the couple avoid red roses on Valentine’s Day?
They couldn’t see eye to eye on the thorn issue.
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How does a penguin propose on Valentine’s Day?
He slides her a tiny pebble.
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What do you call a romantic computer on Valentine’s Day?
A love-abyte.
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Why did the Valentine’s Day chocolate break up with the wrapper?
It felt too boxed in.
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What’s a farmer’s favorite Valentine’s Day activity?
Plowing through a romantic movie.
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Why did the couple go stargazing on Valentine’s Day?
They wanted to find their constellation-ship.
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How does a librarian celebrate Valentine’s Day?
She checks out a good romance novel.
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What did the key say to the lock on Valentine’s Day?
You unlock my heart.
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Why did the couple skip the fancy dinner on Valentine’s Day?
They preferred a rom-com and a cardboard pizza.
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What’s a ghost’s favorite Valentine’s Day candy?
Boo-ble gum.
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Why did the Valentine’s Day card need a band-aid?
It got a paper cut from being too sweet.
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How does a snail celebrate Valentine’s Day?
It leaves a slime trail to its sweetheart.
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What did the Valentine’s Day coffee say to the creamer?
You make my morning complete.
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Why did the couple get a pet hamster on Valentine’s Day?
They wanted a little wheel love.
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What do you call a fashionable Valentine’s Day gift?
A heart-robe.