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Why did the orphan bring a ladder to the picnic?
Because he heard there would be family trees.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite type of math?
Subtraction.
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Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Good luck finding someone who cares.
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How do orphans greet each other?
“Long time no see, relative.”
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What did the orphan say when he found a penny?
“At least I’m getting a penny for my thoughts.”
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Why did the orphan break up with his girlfriend?
She wanted to meet his parents.
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What’s an orphan’s least favorite board game?
Family feud.
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Why did the orphan get fired from the bakery?
He couldn’t stop making orphan cookies – no raisins, just crumbs.
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How do orphans order at a restaurant?
“I’ll have the special, no family discount.”
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What do you call an orphan who can play the piano?
A solo act.
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Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the other side of the orphanage.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite holiday?
Unattended birthday.
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Why don’t orphans tell secrets?
Because they always end up in adopted homes.
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How does an orphan answer the phone?
“Hello? No, I’m not missing anyone.”
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What’s an orphan’s favorite nursery rhyme?
“All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…”
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Why did the orphan bring a mirror to the orphanage?
To see if his reflection was a relative.
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What do you get when you cross an orphan with a computer?
A data orphan with no parent directory.
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Why was the orphan a good detective?
He was an expert at finding missing parents.
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How does an orphan use a map?
He looks for the “X” that marks the spot where his parents left him.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite sport?
Basketball – because he’s always looking for a pickup game.
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Why did the orphan sit in the corner?
Because he wanted to be the focal point of someone’s life.
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What did the orphan say when the teacher asked about his weekend?
“I had a family reunion – with myself.”
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Why don’t orphans play cards?
They’re afraid of getting a full house.
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How does an orphan take a selfie?
He uses a timer, because there’s no one else to hold the phone.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite song?
“I Will Always Love You” – but only the part about nothing.
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Why did the orphan get a job at the library?
He wanted to check out a family history.
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What do you call an orphan who’s also a vampire?
A blood relative.
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Why did the orphan buy a leash?
He wanted to walk his dog, but ended up walking himself.
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How does an orphan make friends?
He tells them his parents are dead – instant sympathy.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite number?
Zero, because it’s the number of times his parents called.
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Why did the orphan put his bed in the oven?
He wanted to be a little baker – and a orphan.
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What do you call an orphan who can juggle?
A solo performer with too many balls.
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Why don’t orphans go to the movies?
They always end up watching “The Parent Trap” alone.
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How do orphans celebrate losing a tooth?
They leave a note for the tooth fairy asking for adoption papers.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite vegetable?
Mushrooms – because they grow without a family.
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Why did the orphan carry a suitcase?
He was ready to leave at a moment’s notice – just in case.
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What did the orphan say when he got a new toy?
“At least this one won’t abandon me.”
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Why did the orphan become a gardener?
He wanted to grow a family tree from scratch.
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How do orphans pay for things?
With orphan currency – spare change and sympathy.
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What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of soup?
Alphabet soup – too many letters from parents.
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Why did the orphan yell “Finally!” when the lights went out?
He thought his parents had come back in the dark.
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What do you call an orphan with a big ego?
Self-made man.
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Why did the orphan go to the therapist?
To get a second opinion on his first abandonment.
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How does an orphan order pizza?
“Just cheese, no toppings – like my family history.”
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What’s an orphan’s favorite animal?
A lone wolf.
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Why did the orphan throw his alarm clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly, since his family already did.
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How do orphans write poems?
With a lot of rhyme and no reason to stay.
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What did the orphan say when he won the lottery?
“Fake it till you make it – I made it alone.”
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Why don’t orphans use Facebook?
No one to connect with – and the suggested friends are all “possible relatives”.
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What’s an orphan’s favorite movie genre?
Documentaries – because real life is stranger than fiction.