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Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
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What's the best thing to put into a Thanksgiving pie?
Your teeth.
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What did the sweet potato say to the turkey?
You're the stuffing of my dreams.
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Why was the turkey so thankful?
Because it had a lot to be gravy for.
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What do you call a turkey that can't keep a secret?
A loose goose—wait, a turkey that tells all the dinner secrets.
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How do you make a turkey laugh?
Give it a funny stuffing.
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Why did the cranberry stop laughing?
Because it saw the turkey get the ax.
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What's the difference between a turkey and a baby?
One gobbles, the other wobbles.
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What do you call a turkey that's a good dancer?
A turkey trot.
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Why did the Thanksgiving turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone.
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Why did the turkey get sent to the principal's office?
For persistent fowl language.
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What did the turkey say to the vegetable gardener?
You're my main squash.
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How does a turkey say good morning?
Gobble, gobble, good morning.
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What do you call a turkey that's a magician?
A gobble-cadabra.
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Why did the turkey refuse to eat?
Because it was stuffed already.
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What's a turkey's favorite dessert?
Apple gobbler.
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Why do we say 'cheese' when taking a Thanksgiving photo?
Because turkey doesn't smile.
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What do you call a turkey that only says one thing?
A monogobble.
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How do you catch a turkey?
Use a gourd and a lot of patience.
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What did the turkey say to the ham?
You're just a side dish.
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Why did the turkey go to the gym?
To work on its drumsticks.
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What do you call a turkey that's a detective?
Sherlock Gobbles.
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Why was the turkey proud of its feathers?
Because they were all natural.
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What do you call a turkey that's a musician?
A drumstick player.
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What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?
A goblin gobbler.
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Why did the turkey blush?
Because the stuffing was too hot.
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What's a turkey's favorite sport?
Baseball – because of the Turkey Trot.
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What do you call a turkey that's a comedian?
A gobble-stand up.
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Why did the turkey break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't like dark meat.
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What do you call a turkey that's a chef?
A master baster.
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Why did the turkey get a ticket?
For running a fowl light.
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What's a turkey's favorite movie?
The Good, the Bad, and the Turkey.
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What do you call a turkey that's a philosopher?
Socrates Gobbles.
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Why was the turkey depressed?
Because it knew it was going to be plucked.
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What do you call a turkey that's a singer?
A gobble-alto.
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How can you tell if a turkey is thankful?
It says grace… then says gobble.
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What do you call a turkey that's a gardener?
A planter of stuffing seeds.
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Why did the turkey go to therapy?
It had too much stuffing inside.
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What do you call a turkey that's a detective?
A gobble-gumshoe.
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What did the turkey say when it saw the knife?
That's a sharp idea.
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Why did the turkey go to school?
To get smarter than the farmer.
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What do you call a turkey that's a weather forecaster?
Meteorologist of the turkey trot.
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Why do turkeys hate the day after Thanksgiving?
Because they're all leftovers.
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What do you call a turkey that's a blogger?
A gobble-ger.
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What's a turkey's favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving, obviously.
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Why did the turkey wear a hat?
To look gobbleous.
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What do you call a turkey that's a lawyer?
A gobble-advocate.
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Why did the turkey go to the bank?
To get some giblets.
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What did the turkey say to the pumpkin pie?
You're my dessert soulmate.