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Why do pirates carry a bar of soap?
To keep their shipshape clean!
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What does a pirate pay for his earrings?
A buccaneer's fee.
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How do pirates say goodbye?
Aye, sea you later!
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Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation.
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What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You might think R, but their true love is the C.
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Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrr!
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How much does a pirate pay for a hook?
An arm and a leg—but he already lost those.
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What did the pirate say when his parrot flew away?
Aw, Polly gone!
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Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
They'll just wash up on shore later.
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What's a pirate's favorite type of ship?
A relation-ship – arrr!
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How did the pirate stop his ship from sinking?
He put a peg on it!
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What's a pirate's favorite fast food?
Arrr-by's.
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Why did the pirate refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of the deck!
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How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye.
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What do you call a pirate who skips class?
A hook-y player.
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What's a pirate's favorite kind of music?
Arrr and B.
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Why was the pirate's ship so clean?
He used a squeak-ee.
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What does a pirate put on his salad?
Sea-soning.
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How do pirates navigate?
They use a compass and a map of the carrib-bean.
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What do you call a pirate with a wooden leg and a hook?
A capt'n.
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Why did the pirate bury his treasure under the sea?
Because he wanted a sunken investment.
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What's a pirate's favorite board game?
Battleship – with a little arrr and peg.
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What do pirates use to write their memoirs?
A hook and a quill.
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Why are pirates such good singers?
They hit all the right arrr-notes.
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What did the pirate say when he saw a ship full of treasure?
That's a booty-ful sight!
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Why don't pirates eat clams?
Because they taste a little shellfish.
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What's a pirate's favorite dessert?
Arrr-tic charrr-lotte.
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How do pirates stay in shape?
They do plank exercises.
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Why did the pirate fail math?
He couldn't find the X on the map.
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What do you call a nervous pirate?
A shaky-buccaneer.
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Why do pirates love treasure maps?
They're filled with hidden arrr-t.
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How does a pirate order coffee?
With a shot of arrr-mor.
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What's a pirate's favorite holiday?
Arrr-bor Day.
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Why did the pirate visit the dentist?
To get his arrr-che checked.
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What do pirates call a small wave?
A micro-wa-ve.
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Why do pirates have trouble sleeping?
They're always counting sheep, but they keep saying arrr.
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What's a pirate's favorite kind of sandwich?
A BLT – bacon, lettuce, and treasure.
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How did the pirate become so wealthy?
He invested in arrr-ble property.
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What do you call a pirate who can't stop laughing?
A jolly Roger.
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Why are pirates always broke?
Because they spend all their gold on arrr-naments.
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What did the pirate say to the cranky child?
Stop arrr-guing!
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How do pirates like their eggs?
Poached – with a side of arrr-chovies.
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Why did the pirate throw away his map?
It was a dead end.
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What do pirates use to clean their treasure?
A buccaneer-brush.
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How do pirates apologize?
They say, 'I arrr sorry'.
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What do you call a romantic pirate?
A sweet-hearrr-t.
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Why do pirates have such good vision?
They get their eyes checked at the arrr-optometrist.
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What's a pirate's favorite animal?
The arrr-madillo.
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How do pirates write their memoirs?
With a goose quill and a bottle of sea-ink.
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Why was the pirate so good at poker?
He had a built-in tell – his hook would tap when he had a good hand.