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What cheese do you use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone.
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Why did the cheese go to the art gallery?
To see the fromage.
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What’s a cheese’s favorite kind of music?
R&Brie.
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How do you fix a broken cheese wheel?
With a chedda patch.
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What did the cheddar say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi!
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Why was the cheese so good at tennis?
It had a great cheddar serve.
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What do you call a cheese that’s always late?
Feta-lag.
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Why did the cheese get a ticket?
It was caught gouda-ing too fast.
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What cheese can’t you trust?
Provolone — it’s always up to something.
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How do mice say goodbye?
“See you later, Gouda!”
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What cheese do you use to fake a cave?
Camembert.
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Why did the Swiss cheese get promoted?
It had lots of holes in its résumé.
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What’s a cheese’s favorite game?
Brie-nopoly.
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What do you call a cheese that’s part of a band?
A cheddar-o.
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Why did the mozzarella break up with the Parmesan?
Too much grating.
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What’s the best way to talk to a cheese?
Say “cheesy” things.
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What do you get when you cross a sheep and a cheese?
Baa-rie.
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Why did the cheese refuse to fight?
It didn’t want to get shredded.
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What cheese can you use to hide a moon?
Lunar-cake.
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How does cheese answer the phone?
“Halloumi?”
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What did the baby cheese say to its mom?
“You’re so grate.”
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Why was the cheese so good at solving puzzles?
It had a sharp mind.
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What cheese do you feed a dragon?
Fromage of fire.
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Why did the cheese go to school?
To get a little edam-ucation.
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What’s a cheese’s favorite day of the week?
Gouda Friday.
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What do you call a cheese that’s good at math?
Mascarpone-omial.
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Why did the cheese get kicked out of the party?
It kept telling lame jokes.
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What cheese is best for a secret agent?
Camembert.
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How do you make a cheese laugh?
Tell it a corny joke.
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What cheese do you use to stop a car?
Brake cheese.
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Why did the cheese go to the doctor?
It had a case of the curds.
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What cheese is always looking for a fight?
Provolone — it’s a little aggressive.
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What do you call a cheese that’s also a doctor?
A gouda physician.
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Why did the cheese go to space?
To find the moon’s cheddar.
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What cheese is best for a picnic?
Port Salut.
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How does cheese greet its friends?
“How do you do, Gouda?”
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What cheese is a magician’s favorite?
Cheddar the disappearing act.
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Why was the cheese so confident?
It had a lot of self-assured-age.
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What cheese can you use to make a shoe?
Mozzarella clog.
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What did the cheese say when it won the race?
“I’m in the brie-zone!”
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Why did the cheese break up with the cracker?
Too much pressure.
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What cheese is full of holes?
Swiss… and also a pumice stone.
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How do you make a cheese sandwich?
You start with a lot of tang.
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What cheese do you use to fix a leak?
Cheddar tape.
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Why did the cheese go to the beach?
To get a Swiss tan.
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What cheese is a comedian’s favorite?
Punsil.
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Why was the cheese so good at hiding?
It was always in a cave.
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What cheese can you use to build a house?
Brick cheese.
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What did the cheese say to the mirror?
“You look grate today.”
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Why did the cheese go to the gym?
To work on its cheddar abs.