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Why did the dick joke get a standing ovation?
Because it was a real headliner.
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What do you call a dick joke that's too obvious?
A hard-punchline.
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Why did the dick joke break up with the pun?
It felt like it was being strung along.
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How do dick jokes greet each other?
‘Hey, long time no see.’
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What's a dick joke's favorite type of music?
Cock rock.
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Why are dick jokes so confident?
They always have a stiff delivery.
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What did the told dick joke say to the untold one?
‘You're missing the punchline.’
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Why did the dick joke go to therapy?
It had too many hang-ups.
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How can you spot a bad dick joke?
It's limp on delivery.
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What does a dick joke do when it's nervous?
It gets all wound up.
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Why was the dick joke so popular at parties?
It always knew how to make an entrance.
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What do you call a dick joke that's been told too many times?
A worn-out member.
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Why don't dick jokes work in an empty room?
There's no one to appreciate the length.
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What's a dick joke's greatest fear?
Being cut short.
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Why did the dick joke get a job as a doorstop?
It was great at holding things open.
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How does a dick joke apologize?
‘I really dropped the ball on that one.’
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Why are dick jokes so good at telling time?
They always know when to come.
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What's a dick joke's least favorite day?
No-nut November.
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What did the dick joke say to the knock-knock joke?
‘You need to work on your delivery.’
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Why was the dick joke so modest?
It didn't want to overshare.
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How do you improve a dick joke?
Give it a little twist.
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What's the difference between a dick joke and a dad joke?
One is about a body part, the other is a father part.
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Why did the dick joke get fired?
It was too forward.
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What did the pubic joke say to the dick joke?
‘Stop growing on me.’
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Why did the dick joke win an award?
It had perfect timing.
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What's a dick joke's favorite board game?
Uno — because it's all about reversal.
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Why don't dick jokes ever get lost?
They always follow the head.
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How can you tell a dick joke is intelligent?
It has a good head on its shoulders.
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What do you call a dick joke that's too long?
A saga.
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Why did the dick joke cross the road?
To get to the other side — of the conversation.
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What's a dick joke's relationship status?
It's complicated — sometimes it's on again, off again.
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Why did the dick joke blush?
Because the audience saw right through it.
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How do you silence a dick joke?
Tell it to hold its head high.
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Why are dick jokes so hot?
They always have a burning punchline.
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What's a dick joke's worst nightmare?
Being told inappropriately.
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Why did the dick joke refuse to be a one-liner?
It wanted to be a long-term member.
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What did the female jokester say about dick jokes?
‘You're all the same — just a setup with no surprise.’
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Why do dick jokes always get the last word?
Because they insist on having the final say.
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What does a dick joke do when it's embarrassed?
It withdraws into a pun.
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Why was the dick joke so successful in sports?
It had a great drive and follow-through.
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How do you tell a quality dick joke?
By its weight — too light and it's fluff, too heavy and it's a drag.
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Why did the dick joke get arrested?
For indecent exposure.
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What's a dick joke's favorite season?
Spring — because things start to rise.
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Why don't dick jokes get old?
Because they keep coming back in style.
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What do you call a dick joke that's a bit rough?
A draft — needs more editing.
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Why are dick jokes so hard to forget?
Because they stick in your mind.
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What's a dick joke's favorite drink?
Shaft.
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Why did the dick joke start a band?
It wanted to prove it had rhythm.
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How does a dick joke end a conversation?
‘Well, that's all I've got to say on the matter.’
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Why was the dick joke so flexible?
It could turn a phrase around completely.