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Why did the fart go to school?
To become a little more educated… and a lot more stinky.
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What do you call a polite fart?
A proper toot — it waits until you're alone.
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How do you compliment a fart?
Tell it: 'That really blew me away.'
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Why are farts so good at keeping secrets?
Because they come out of nowhere and vanish instantly.
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What did the fart say to the person who let it out?
'You're the wind beneath my … you know.'
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Why did the fart break up with the burp?
Too much gas in the relationship.
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What do you call a fart that tells jokes?
A puny little stinker.
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Why was the fart embarrassed?
It came out in the wrong company.
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How do you catch a fart?
You don't — they always slip away.
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What's a fart's favorite movie?
Gone with the Wind.
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Why don't farts like elevators?
They hate being trapped with strangers.
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What do you call a silent fart at a wedding?
An unexpected guest.
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Why did the fart cross the road?
To get away from the person who made it.
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What did the nose say to the fart?
'You really know how to make an entrance.'
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How do you describe a rude fart?
It's a toot without a salute.
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Why was the fart so good at poker?
It had a great bluff face.
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What do you call a fart in a crowded room?
A conversation starter.
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Why are farts bad at hide and seek?
They always give themselves away.
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What did the mother fart say to the baby fart?
'Don't let them hear you coming.'
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How do you apologize for a fart?
'Sorry, my backfire was premature.'
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Why did the fart go to therapy?
It had unresolved issues with staying in.
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What's a fart's favorite dance?
The poot-poot slide.
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Why was the fart so loud?
It wanted to be heard over the silence.
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What do you call a fart that wins the lottery?
A lucky break.
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Why don't farts take tests?
They always come out with a passing grade.
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What did the bean say to the person who ate it?
'I'll be back with a vengeance.'
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How do you know a fart is coming?
It sends a rumbling memo.
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Why are farts like shadows?
You never see them coming, but you feel them.
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What do you call a fart that plays trumpet?
A brass tooter.
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Why did the fart get a ticket?
Excessive speeding in a quiet zone.
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What's a fart's least favorite food?
Silence — it doesn't like being swallowed.
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How do you make a fart mad?
Hold it in too long.
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What did the fart say after a big meal?
'I'm about to make a statement.'
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Why do farts love blankets?
They can sneak out unnoticed.
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What do you call a fart that stars in a horror movie?
A silent-but-deadly.
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Why are farts bad liars?
They always smell suspicious.
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What's a fart's favorite sport?
Track and field — they excel at the dash.
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How do you get revenge on a fart?
Blame it on someone else.
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Why did the fart get a promotion?
It always rose to the occasion.
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What do you call a fart that plays hide and seek?
A master of incognito.
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Why are farts like comedian?
They're all about the delivery.
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What did the stomach say after a noisy fart?
'And that concludes our daily review.'
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How do you know a fart is shy?
It comes out in gasps.
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What's a fart's favorite holiday?
National Bean Day.
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Why do farts love elevators?
The ride goes up and down… just like them.
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What do you call a fart that tells time?
A second hand – it toots every hour.
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Why was the fart so good at escape?
It always found a crack to slip through.
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What did the bean say to the chili?
'We're going to make beautiful music together.'
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How do you avoid a smelly fart?
Don't sit too close to a bean eater.
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Why are farts like pop songs?
They're short, catchy, and sometimes stink.