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Why did the scientist wear goggles in the lab?
To see the results more clearly.
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What did the biologist say after a long experiment?
I'm feeling a little cell-fish today.
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Why did the physicist break up with the chemist?
There was no reaction.
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How do scientists stay warm in winter?
They use their own body heat… and a Bunsen burner.
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What did the ocean say to the marine biologist?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do scientists trust atoms so much?
They make up everything.
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What do you call a scientist from the UK?
A brit-chemist.
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Why did the biologist fail the exam?
She couldn't find the nucleus of the problem.
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How do physicists make decisions?
They rely on their quantum intuition.
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Why did the geologist go to prison?
He took things for granite.
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What did the lab coat say to the scientist?
I've got you covered.
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Why did the astronomer break up with the star?
It was too distant.
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What do you get when you cross a scientist and a librarian?
A know-it-all with a due date.
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Why do scientists avoid making puns?
Because they're not elementary enough.
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How does a scientist clip their toenails?
With a periodic table of clippers.
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Why did the chemist always carry a pencil?
To draw chemical bonds.
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What's a scientist's favorite type of movie?
Anything with a good plot and a hypothesis.
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Why did the biologist sit on the microscope?
To get a closer look at his seat-mate.
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How do you comfort a sad scientist?
Tell them it's just a phase.
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Why did the physicist go to therapy?
He had too many unresolved forces in his life.
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What did the scientist say when his experiment failed?
That was unexpected.
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Why did the chemist name his dog Carbon?
Because it's a good boy.
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Why don't scientists trust stairs?
They're always up to something.
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What's a scientist's favorite dessert?
Pi.
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How do scientists say goodbye?
We'll catch you on the next slide.
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Why did the biologist bring a ladder to work?
To reach the higher organisms.
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What do you call a scientist who studies bugs?
An in-sekt-igator.
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Why did the astronomer get a telescope?
To see things far away from his problems.
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What did the molecule say to the atom?
You complete me.
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Why did the scientist pour sulfuric acid on the floor?
He wanted to test the reaction of his colleagues.
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How do you know a scientist is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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Why did the lab rat get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.
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What's a scientist's favorite music genre?
Rock – especially sediment rock.
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Why did the chemist become a teacher?
He had a strong solution.
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How does a biologist propose?
With a ring made of organic matter.
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What did the physicist say to the mathematician?
You're always in a different dimension.
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Why did the scientist stop studying the moon?
Because it was a phase he couldn't handle.
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What do you call a scientist with two heads?
Biological.
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Why did the botanist leave the party early?
He didn't want to overwater the conversation.
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How do scientists keep track of time?
With a chronometer and a lot of patience.
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What did the lab manager say to the messy scientist?
Clean up your act – or at least your bench.
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Why did the astronaut break up with the scientist?
He needed space.
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How does a scientist fix a broken heart?
With a strong bond and some chemistry.
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Why did the physicist bring a duck to the lab?
To test the waddle-length hypothesis.
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What do you call a scientist who only works with water?
H2-Oh? No, a hydrologist.
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Why did the biologist cross the road?
To get to the other side of the experiment.
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What's a scientist's favorite dance?
The lab shuffle – two steps forward, one step back.
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Why did the astronomer refuse to believe in black holes?
He said it was a gravitational oversight.
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How do scientists greet each other?
With a well-researched handshake.
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Why did the scientist write a book about the ocean?
Because he wanted to cover all the deep topics.
