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Why did the turkey cross the dinner table?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
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What do you call a turkey that can't stop drumming?
A drumstick with rhythm.
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Why did the cranberry sauce break up with the mashed potatoes?
Too much gravy drama.
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What did the pilgrim say to the turkey?
“You’re stuffed either way.”
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Why did the turkey call a lawyer?
He feared a civil suit… or a civil feast.
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How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll tell you after dinner.
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Why did the stuffing break up with the gravy?
It felt too smothered.
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What side dish always wins arguments?
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Why did the turkey join the band?
He had drumsticks.
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What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
“Stop pouring yourself all over me!”
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Why are Thanksgiving leftovers always single?
They never get a second date.
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What do you call a turkey that survives Thanksgiving?
The guest of honor next year.
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Why did the pilgrim bring a ladder to dinner?
He heard the cranberry sauce was a bit high.
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How do you confuse a Thanksgiving turkey?
Tell him to gobble up and then ask for seconds.
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What's the worst thing about Thanksgiving leftovers?
They remind you of the relatives you'd rather forget.
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Why did the green bean casserole break up with the turkey?
Too much stuffing in the relationship.
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What did the pumpkin say to the pie crust?
“You've got me all wrapped up.”
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Why did the turkey refuse the wine?
He had a dry sense of humor.
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What did the family say after the turkey fled?
“Well, that's fowl play.”
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Why did the sweet potato sue the marshmallow?
For topping him without consent.
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How do you make a Thanksgiving turkey laugh?
Tell him a corny joke, then watch him gobble.
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What do you call a stressed-out turkey on Thanksgiving?
A nervous gobble.
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Why did the dinner roll leave the table?
It couldn't handle the heat of the oven.
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What did the wishbone say to the turkey?
“Break me off a piece of that luck.”
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Why did the cranberry turn red?
It saw the turkey stuffing his face.
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What's the turkey's favorite music?
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Why did the gravy boat get so popular?
It always goes with the flow.
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What did the chef say to the turkey?
“You're going to make a great impression… on the plate.”
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Why did the apple pie blush?
Because it saw the turkey getting undressed.
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What do you call a turkey that tells tall tales?
A gobbler of words.
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Why did the napkin file a complaint?
It was tired of getting wiped.
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How do you fix a broken Thanksgiving?
With a lot of gravy and a little forgiveness.
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What did the mother turkey say to her chicks?
“If you keep gobbling, you'll end up on a platter.”
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Why did the cornbread walk out?
It couldn't take the crumbly relationship.
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What's the turkey's secret to staying calm?
He knows it's all about the stuffing.
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Why did the stuffing leave the turkey?
It felt too crammed.
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What did the wine say to the turkey?
“I'm here to help you forget.”
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Why did the pumpkin pie get promoted?
It had the best overall presentation.
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How does a turkey say sorry?
“I goofed… I mean, gobbled.”
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Why did the cranberry sauce blush?
Because it saw the turkey's dark meat.
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What do you call a turkey that's also a detective?
A private gobble.
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Why did the family argue over the wishbone?
They couldn't agree on the best break.
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What did the oven say to the turkey?
“You're going to be a hot commodity.”
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Why did the peas separate from the carrots?
They couldn't handle the pressure of the holiday.
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How do you keep a turkey from peeking?
Close the oven door and tell him to stuff it.
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What did the gravy say to the biscuit?
“Let's get smothered together.”
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Why did the pilgrim run away from dinner?
He heard the turkey was about to carve the turkey.
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What's the turkey's favorite game?
Duck, duck, goose… but he always gets caught.
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Why did the sweet potato cry?
It was feeling a bit mashed.
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How do you apologize for a bad Thanksgiving joke?
“I guess I need more stuffing in my head.”
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What did the leftovers say to each other?
“We'll meet again tomorrow.”
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Why did the turkey fail the test?
He couldn't stop gobbling during the exam.
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What's a turkey's favorite dance?
The gobble shuffle.
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Why did the family bring a tape measure?
To measure the turkey's dimensions for the fridge.
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What did the pilgrim say to the Native American?
“Thanks for the food… and the land.” (Awkward silence).
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Why did the turkey wear a vest?
He wanted to look good for his final photo.
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How does a turkey send a letter?
By gobble mail.
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Why did the pumpkin pie refuse to be eaten?
It had a crusty attitude.
