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What did Santa say when his sleigh broke down?
'Oh sleigh, not again!'
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Why was the little snowman upset?
Because he had a meltdown.
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What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
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Why did Santa go to music school?
To improve his 'wrap' skills.
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What do Christmas trees do after the holidays?
They start a new 'leaf'.
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How does Good King Wenceslas like his eggs?
'Deep-pan' style.
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What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
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Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting?
It kept dropping its needles.
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What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
I have no eye-deer.
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Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
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What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!
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Where do snowmen go to dance?
To the snowball.
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Why was the Yule log so sad?
It felt burnt out.
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What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about Christmas?
Checkmate nativity!
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Why did Rudolph get a bad grade?
He was a little light in the antlers.
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What is Santa's favorite type of potato?
A 'ho ho ho'-ney yam.
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What do you call a grumpy elf?
A 'grouch'-up.
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Why does Scrooge love the lottery?
Because he's all about the 'pounds'.
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What do you call a reindeer with a bad attitude?
A 'Buck' Off.
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Why don't mountains get cold during Christmas?
Because they have snow caps.
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What do you call an elf who runs away from Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
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Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.
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What does a snowman wear on his head?
A snow cap.
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Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had low 'elf'-esteem.
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What do you call a Santa that doesn't use the right kind of paper?
Wrapper's block.
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How does Santa answer the phone?
'Ho-ho-ho!' … then he hangs up.
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What do you call a snowman's dog?
A slush puppy.
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Why was the Christmas tree so good at volleyball?
Because it had great 'spruce'.
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What is the Grinch's least favorite music?
Wraps.
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Why don't turkeys like Christmas?
Because they always get 'stuffed'.
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What do you call a reindeer that tells tall tales?
A lyin' deer.
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Why was the mistletoe so popular?
Because it had a lot of 'kiss'-tory.
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What do you call a scared Santa?
A 'Jingle Bell' fright.
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Why was the little star so happy?
Because it had a 'sparkle' in its eye.
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What do you call a Christmas tree that's good at math?
A 'pine'-thagorean.
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How does Santa get down the chimney?
He 'clauses' his eyes and jumps.
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What do you call a snowman that tells jokes?
A 'cool' comedian.
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Why did the Christmas cookie go to the hospital?
Because it was feeling crummy.
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What do you call a reindeer with a sunburn?
A 'crispy' deer.
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Why was the elf so good at guitar?
Because he knew all the 'elf' chords.
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What do you call a snowman's party?
A 'blizzard' bash.
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Why did Santa put the tree in the corner?
Because it was a 'spruce' corner.
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What do you call a ghost that loves Christmas?
A 'boo'-rious.
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Why was the candy cane so sad?
Because it was all 'stripe'd' of its joy.
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What do you call a reindeer that sings opera?
A 'tenor' deer.
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Why was the Christmas wreath so tired?
It had been 'ringing' all day.
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What do you call a snowman's mom?
A 'frost' mother.
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Why did the Christmas light break up with the string?
Because it felt 'disconnected'.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a great dancer?
A 'tappin' deer.
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Why was the tinsel so excited?
Because it was 'shiny' and new.
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What do you call a snowman's favorite drink?
A 'slushy'.
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Why did Santa go to the bank?
To get his 'sleigh' balance.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a good cook?
A 'chef' deer.
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Why was the Christmas stocking so empty?
Because it had a 'hole' lot of nothing.
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What do you call a snowman's doctor?
A 'cold' specialist.
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Why did the present break up with the bow?
It felt 'wrapped' too tight.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a movie star?
A 'film' deer.
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Why was the yuletide log so heavy?
It had a lot of 'wood' on its mind.
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What do you call a snowman's favorite book?
'Chilled' to the Bone.
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Why did Santa take up gardening?
Because he wanted to 'el' grow.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a comedian?
A 'pun' deer.
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Why was the Christmas tree so good at yoga?
It had great 'flex' pine.
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What do you call a snowman's house?
An 'igloo' no, it's a 'snow' home.
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Why did the cookie jar break up with the milk?
It found someone 'sweeter'.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a musician?
A 'band' deer.
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Why was the Christmas tree so good at acting?
It had a 'dramatic' bark.
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What do you call a snowman's girlfriend?
A 'snow' angel.
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Why did the gingerbread house collapse?
Because it had a 'candy' canes.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a detective?
A 'sleuth' deer.
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Why was the star on the tree so bright?
Because it was a 'supernova' of joy.
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What do you call a snowman's baby?
A 'freeze' ball.
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Why did Santa get a ticket?
Because he was 'sleigh'ing too fast.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a painter?
A 'brush' deer.
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Why was the Christmas pudding so sad?
Because it had a 'plum' feeling.
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What do you call a snowman's brother?
A 'frosty' sibling.
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Why did the elf go to school?
To improve his 'elf'-of-ace.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a scientist?
A 'lab' deer.
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Why was the Christmas tree so good at sports?
It had a 'spruce' swing.
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What do you call a snowman's hat?
A 'top' frost.
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Why did the candy cane get cheated on?
Because it had a 'sugar' rush elsewhere.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a writer?
A 'pen' deer.
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Why was the mistletoe so optimistic?
Because it saw the 'kiss' of the future.
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What do you call a snowman's car?
A 'snow' mobile.
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Why did Santa visit the doctor?
Because he had 'claus'-trophobia.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a gardener?
A 'hoe' deer.
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Why was the Christmas stocking so colorful?
Because it was 'knit' with love.
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What do you call a snowman's friend?
A 'chill' buddy.
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Why did the Christmas light go to therapy?
Because it was feeling 'dim'.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a chef?
A 'roast' deer.
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Why was the gingerbread man so fast?
He had 'sugar' in his step.
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What do you call a snowman's party game?
'Pin the carrot on the snowman.'
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Why did Santa's beard turn white?
Because it was 'old' Saint Nick.
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What do you call a reindeer that's an astronaut?
A 'space' deer.
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Why was the Christmas tree so good at fishing?
It had a 'spruce' rod.
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What do you call a snowman's pet?
A 'slush' hound.
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Why did the elf become a photographer?
Because he wanted to 'elf'-ie.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a firefighter?
A 'water' deer.
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Why was the Christmas wreath so popular?
Because it was 'ever-green'.
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What do you call a snowman's favorite movie?
'Frozen' with laughter.
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Why did Santa get a massage?
Because he was 'stressed' Nick.
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What do you call a reindeer that's a lawyer?
A 'sue' deer.