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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to school?
Because it wanted to be a smartie.
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What did the Laffy Taffy say when it won the race?
"I'm on a roll!"
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How do you make a Laffy Taffy laugh?
Tell it a cheesy joke.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy break up with the chocolate bar?
It was too sweet.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite dance?
The twist.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy get a job at the candy store?
It wanted to make some dough.
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What do you call a Laffy Taffy that can sing?
A wrapper star.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy cross the road?
To get to the other side of the wrapper.
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How does a Laffy Taffy greet its friends?
"Hey, what's the scoop?"
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite movie?
The Stretching Dead.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to the doctor?
It had a pulled muscle.
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What do you get when you cross a Laffy Taffy with a frog?
A candy that jumps out of its wrapper.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy get in trouble?
It was caught sticking its nose where it didn't belong.
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How do you fix a broken Laffy Taffy?
With a little stretch therapy.
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What did the Laffy Taffy say to the gum wrapper?
"Stop being so clingy!"
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Why don't Laffy Taffies play hide and seek?
Because they always stick out.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite sport?
Tug-of-war.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to the gym?
To improve its stretch reflex.
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How do Laffy Taffies stay in shape?
They do a lot of pull-ups.
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What do you call a Laffy Taffy that tells secrets?
A tattletale taffy.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy refuse to share?
It was too attached.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite holiday?
Stretch Patrick's Day.
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How do you make a Laffy Taffy angry?
Pull it the wrong way.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy get a ticket?
It was caught stretching the speed limit.
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What do you call a group of Laffy Taffies?
A stretch of taffy.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy blush?
It saw the candy cane striping.
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Why was the Laffy Taffy sad?
It lost its wrapper and felt exposed.
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What did one Laffy Taffy say to the other at the gym?
"Let's stretch it out!"
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How do Laffy Taffies communicate?
Through a grapevine.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy get a medal?
For outstanding flexibility.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite instrument?
The trombone, because they love to slide.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to therapy?
It had separation anxiety from its wrapper.
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How do you spot a Laffy Taffy at a party?
It's the one that's always stretching the conversation.
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What do you call a Laffy Taffy that can't make up its mind?
Wishy-washy taffy.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy quit its job?
The work was too repetitive – it was always being pulled in different directions.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite game?
Twister.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to the beach?
To get a little stretch and sand.
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How do Laffy Taffies apologize?
They make a long-distance call.
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What did the Laffy Taffy say when it was stuck?
"I'm in a sticky situation!"
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Why did the Laffy Taffy become a detective?
It was good at pulling things apart.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite type of music?
Pop, because it's always stretching the genre.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy get a pet?
To have someone to chew on.
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How do Laffy Taffies celebrate birthdays?
They pull a party streamer.
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What do you give a Laffy Taffy on its birthday?
A nice, long hug.
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Why did the Laffy Taffy go to the magic show?
It wanted to see some disappearing acts.
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What's a Laffy Taffy's favorite dessert?
Stretchy marshmallow.
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Why was the Laffy Taffy so flexible?
It practiced yoga every day.
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How do Laffy Taffies vote?
They cast a stretch ballot.
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What did the Laffy Taffy say to the candy cane?
"You're such a stick in the mud."