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Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other groan.
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What do you call a dad joke that's so bad it makes you sigh?
A sigh-riff.
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Why don't dad jokes ever get accepted?
They always get a groan of rejection.
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How can you tell a dad joke is really awful?
It has no pun-ishment.
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What's a dad's favorite type of joke?
One that's pun-ished by groans.
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Why do dad jokes make people cringe?
They're too cheesy to handle.
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What did the audience say to the dad joke?
'That's not funny, that's pun-ishing.'
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Why did the dad joke get kicked out of the comedy club?
It caused too many eye rolls.
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What's the best way to react to a dad joke?
Roll your eyes and say 'd'oh.'
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Why are dad jokes like bad pennies?
They always turn up when you least expect them.
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How do you make a dad joke worse?
Add a pun-ishment.
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What do you call a dad joke that makes you laugh?
A rare breed.
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Why did the dad joke go to school?
To get a little more groan-ledge.
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What's the difference between a dad joke and a good joke?
About 10 groans.
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Why are dad jokes always so predictable?
They have a pun-ictable setup.
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How many dad jokes does it take to ruin a party?
Just one – it's all downhill from there.
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What's a dad's favorite type of humor?
The kind that makes you groan.
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Why did the dad joke get arrested?
For breaking the law of comedy.
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What do you call a dad joke that's actually clever?
A myth.
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Why do dad jokes always end with a groan?
Because they have no punch.
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What's the worst part about a dad joke?
The setup – you know what's coming.
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Why don't dad jokes ever win awards?
They're too cheesy for the judges.
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How do you punish a dad joke?
You make it sit in the corner and think about what it did.
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What's the lifespan of a dad joke?
About three seconds of silence followed by a groan.
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Why did the dad joke go to therapy?
It had too many issues with delivery.
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What do you call a dad joke that's surprisingly good?
A fluke.
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Why are dad jokes like bad puns?
They're both a groan in the making.
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What's a dad's favorite word?
'Groan' – because it's the only reaction he gets.
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Why did the dad joke write a memoir?
To chronicle its many failures.
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How can you tell a dad joke is coming?
The dad clears his throat and says, 'Have you heard this one?'
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What do you call a dad joke that makes you smile?
A miracle.
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Why are dad jokes so easy to forget?
They're not memorable – just groan-stamped.
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What's the official reaction to a dad joke?
A mandatory eye roll.
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Why did the dad joke get a standing ovation?
Because everyone stood up to leave.
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How many dad jokes can a dad tell in a minute?
One – and then everyone groans for the next 59 seconds.
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What do you call a dad joke that's offensive?
A crime against humor.
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Why don't dad jokes work online?
You can't hear the groan.
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What's the punchline of every dad joke?
The groan that follows.
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Why did the dad joke decide to retire?
It couldn't take the constant criticism.
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How do you compliment a dad joke?
You say, 'That was so bad it's almost good.'
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What do you call a group of dad jokes?
A groan.
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Why are dad jokes like old songs?
Everyone knows the words and groans when they hear them.
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What's the worst thing about a dad joke?
The anticipation of the groan.
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Why did the dad joke get a divorce?
Its spouse couldn't stand the puns.
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How do you improve a dad joke?
You can't – it's already at rock bottom.
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What do you call a dad joke that's original?
A novelty.
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Why did the dad joke get a bad review?
It was too predictable.
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What's the difference between a dad joke and a knock-knock joke?
With dad jokes, you already know the answer.
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Why do dad jokes always involve food?
Because they're cheesy.
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What's the final word after a dad joke?
'Groan.'