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Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other side… of groan-worthy.
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What do you call a dad joke that’s also a lie?
A dad fib—still not funny.
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Why don’t dad jokes ever get old?
Because they’re already past their prime.
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How many dad jokes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes forever to get to the punchline.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite song?
‘Eye of the Tiger’—it’s always aiming for a groan.
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Why did the dad joke break up with the knock-knock joke?
Too much setup, not enough delivery.
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What do you call a dad joke that makes you laugh?
A miracle.
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Why do dad jokes always feel so predictable?
Because they’re following their own dad-itude.
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How do you spot a dumb dad joke?
It starts with ‘Why did the…’ and ends with a pun so bad you sigh.
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Why do dad jokes tell themselves at family dinners?
They’re gluten-free—low on substance.
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What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?
About one ‘dad’ of cringe.
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Why did the dad joke go to therapy?
It had serious commitment issues with the punchline.
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What do you give a dad joke that’s feeling down?
A pat on the back and a referral to a comedian.
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Why was the dad joke afraid of the dark?
It couldn’t find its punchline in the shadows.
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How do you make a dad joke better?
Add a second groan.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite drink?
Cringe and tonic.
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Why did the dad joke fail its driving test?
It kept taking wrong turns in the setup.
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What do you call a dad joke that’s actually clever?
An oxymoron.
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Why do dad jokes always have such long pauses?
They’re waiting for your patience to run out.
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How do you kill a dad joke?
Tell it to your kids—they’ll finish it off.
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Why did the dad joke get a ticket?
For loitering without a punchline.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite exercise?
The groan-and-bear-it.
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Why did the dad joke go to school?
To learn new ways to disappoint its audience.
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How do you improve a dad joke?
Replace the word ‘dad’ with ‘uncle’.
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What’s the hardest part of writing a dad joke?
Admitting it’s going to be terrible.
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Why don’t dad jokes ever win awards?
They’re nominated for the ‘No Laughs’ category.
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What do you call a dad joke that makes sense?
A scientific anomaly.
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Why did the dad joke get laughed at?
Because it tripped over its own setup.
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How do you know a dad joke is coming?
Your ears start to groan.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite type of music?
Any kind that makes you cringe on cue.
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Why do dad jokes always start with ‘Why’?
Because they’re asking for forgiveness.
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What do you call a dad joke that’s also a riddle?
A double dose of face-palm.
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Why did the dad joke go to the doctor?
It caught a case of the pun-itis.
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How many dad jokes does it take to empty a room?
Just one, but it’s a slow burn.
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What’s the difference between a dad joke and a joke?
About 10 seconds of silence afterwards.
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Why did the dad joke cross the road again?
Because the first time wasn’t funny enough.
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What does a dad joke do at a party?
It arrives early and overstays its welcome.
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How do you tell a good dad joke from a bad one?
Listen for the collective groan.
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Why was the dad joke so tired?
It’s been recycled since the 1950s.
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What do you call a dad joke that’s told twice?
A classic.
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Why did the dad joke get a standing ovation?
Everyone stood up to leave.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite season?
Pun-spring.
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Why do dad jokes never go viral?
They’re too heavy to get off the ground.
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How do you upgrade a dad joke?
Change the word ‘dad’ to ‘granddad’.
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What do you call a dad joke that’s also a math problem?
A sum-bum joke.
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Why did the dad joke go to jail?
For assaulting the ears.
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How do you make a dad joke less annoying?
Don’t.
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What’s a dad joke’s favorite snack?
Cringe-flavored chips.
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Why did the dad joke get divorced?
It kept telling the same joke for years.
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How do you stop a dad joke?
You don’t—it eventually runs out of breath.