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Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
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What do you call a bear that's been through a particle accelerator?
A sub-atomic bear.
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How do you tell if a chemist is extroverted?
They buy all the periodic table socks and show them off.
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What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
Do these genes make me look fat?
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Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything.
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What's a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
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How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the photon go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit light-headed.
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
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What did the biologist wear to the gym?
A cell-ular shirt.
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Why did the electron leave the atom?
It was tired of being negative.
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How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints.
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What's a chemist's favorite animal?
A solution.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
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Why did the fungus become a scientist?
It wanted to grow as a person.
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What's the best way to watch a fly?
Through a fly-er scope.
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How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.
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What did the sulfur say to the oxygen?
You're the reason I'm reactive.
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Why did the biologist name his dog Kelvin?
Because it loves to growl and snap.
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the 'p' is silent.
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How do you weigh a whale?
With a whale-ing scale.
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What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
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What's a physicist's favorite type of music?
Rock, because it's solid.
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Why did the cell phone go to the doctor?
It had a bad case of viruses.
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How does a neutrino say goodbye?
I see you later, maybe.
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What's a scientist's favorite game?
Periodic table tennis.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get when you mix a joke with a chemistry lab?
A laughing gas reaction.
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Why did the fungus leave the party?
There wasn't enough mush-room.
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How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
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What did the biology teacher say to the student who couldn't concentrate?
You need to focus on the cell.
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Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the Nobel prize for physics.
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What's a chemist's favorite part of a joke?
The punch line is the catalyst.
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Why did the physicist cross the road?
To get to the other side of the uncertainty principle.
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What do you call a dog that can do molecular biology?
A labrador retriever.
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Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
Too much static in the relationship.
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How do you catch a polar bear?
You put a brick on the ice and wait for it to crack up.
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What did one tectonic plate say to the other?
You're drifting apart from me.
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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
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What's a scientist's favorite dance move?
The quantum shuffle.
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Why did the electron refuse to pay the parking ticket?
It had no charge.
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How do physicists make their coffee?
They brew it with constant acceleration.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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Why did the chemist name his restaurant 'Molecules'?
Because it serves up bonded dishes.
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What's the most important part of a scientist's joke?
The periodic table of elements.
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Why did the biologist's jokes fall flat?
He forgot to add the 'cell' factor.