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Why did the turkey sit on the remote control?
He wanted to change the channel to the Macy's Parade!
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What do you call a turkey on Thanksgiving day?
A feathered friend with a lot of stuffing.
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Why was the turkey arrested?
He got caught for fowl play.
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What's the best thing to put into a Thanksgiving pie?
Your teeth!
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Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey getting stuffed.
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What did the turkey say to the farmer on Thanksgiving?
You're really going to make me gobble up all that attention?
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Why did the sweet potato get invited to dinner?
Because it was a big yam.
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What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
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Why did the pilgrim's pants fall down?
Because he wore his buckle belt too loose.
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What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing, wing, wing.
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Why do turkeys hate the month of November?
Because everyone is always gobbling up the conversation.
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What do you call a turkey who can sing?
A poultry musician.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
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What's the main ingredient in Thanksgiving leftovers?
A refrigerator.
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Why was the Thanksgiving pie so expensive?
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What do you call a turkey that tells too many jokes?
A funny gobbler.
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Why do people eat so much on Thanksgiving?
Because the turkey is stuffed and so are they!
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What's a turkey's favorite dessert?
Pe-can pie – he can't stop eating it.
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Why did the turkey refuse to eat?
Because he was already stuffed.
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What do you call the turkey that is always late?
A last-minute gobbler.
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Why did the corn feel sad on Thanksgiving?
Because everyone else was getting buttered up.
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What do you get when you drop a turkey?
A gobble-dy gook.
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Why was the Thanksgiving meal so loud?
Because the cranberries kept popping.
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What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
Quit pouring it on so thick!
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Why did the pumpkin pie break up with the apple pie?
It thought they were just too different.
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What do you call a turkey that plays the drums?
A gobble-rock star.
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Why did the pilgrim bring a ladder to dinner?
To reach the high notes in the prayer.
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What do you say to a turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
You're going to be a great centerpiece.
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Why did the yam go to the dance?
Because he had sweet moves.
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What's a turkey's favorite game?
Hide and seek, especially on November's fourth Thursday.
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Why did the stuffing go to school?
Because it wanted to be a smart side.
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What did the turkey say to the carving knife?
Cut it out!
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Why did the bread roll blush?
Because he saw the turkey dressing.
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What do you call a turkey with a PhD?
A gobbler-ate.
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Why did the pumpkin patch get so messy?
Because everyone was having a gourd time.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?
A gobble-goblin.
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Why did the Thanksgiving parade float sink?
Because it was full of balloons and hot air.
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What's a turkey's favorite book?
Gone with the Wing.
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Why did the cranberry sauce get nervous?
It heard it might be canned.
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What did the turkey wear to the feast?
A feather boo.
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Why did the farmer cover his turkey with a blanket?
Because it was a free-range bird and he didn't want it to get cold.
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What do you call a turkey that can count?
A math-gobbler.
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Why did the dinner roll get promoted?
Because it rose to the occasion.
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What did the corn say to the turkey?
You're so a-maize-ing!
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Why did the pilgrim wear a belt?
To hold his pants up, because his buckle was the only thing that could.
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What do you call a turkey who is a magician?
An abra-ca-turkey.
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Why did the mashed potatoes start a band?
Because they had good beat and were well seasoned.
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What's a turkey's least favorite day?
Black Friday – too many leftovers.
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Why did the pumpkin pie get a promotion?
Because it was the top crust of the dessert line.
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What did the turkey say to the kids?
Don't gobble till you're done chewing – it's bad manners.