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Why do people hate Mondays so much?
Because they’re always the first to arrive at the party.
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What’s a Monday’s favorite type of music?
Blues, because it’s always feeling down.
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How does Monday introduce itself?
‘Hi, I’m the day you forgot to prepare for.’
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Why don’t Mondays play hide and seek?
Because they always get found first.
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What do you call a Monday that’s full of energy?
A weak-end escapee.
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Why did the calendar break up with Monday?
Too clingy—it never left.
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How is Monday like a bad joke?
You have to hear it every week.
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What’s Monday’s motto?
‘I’ll make you appreciate Friday.’
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Why do Mondays always look so tired?
They carry the weight of an entire week.
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What did Monday say to the alarm clock?
‘You’re the real villain here.’
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Why did Monday go to therapy?
It had serious attachment issues with the weekend.
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What’s a Monday’s favorite board game?
Sorry—because it always makes people say that.
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How does Monday greet you at work?
‘Surprise! I’m back.’
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What’s the difference between Monday and a zombie?
The zombie at least has some life in it.
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Why do Mondays cause so many sighs?
Because they take the ‘fun’ out of ‘funday.’
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What did the coffee say to Monday?
‘Without me, you’re nothing.’
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How is Monday like a cold shower?
Refreshingly horrible.
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Why don’t Mondays get invited to parties?
They always bring the mood down.
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What’s Monday’s favorite movie?
Groundhog Day—it just keeps repeating.
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Why did Monday get a ticket?
For breaking the speed limit from weekend to work.
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How does Monday make you feel?
Like you’ve been hit by a truck made of deadlines.
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What’s Monday’s secret weapon?
The snooze button that doesn’t work.
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Why do we call it ‘Monday blues’?
Because Monday is the sad intro to a week of labor.
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What does Monday say when it arrives?
‘Hope you had a nice weekend—now back to reality.’
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How is Monday like a tax bill?
Unwelcome, but you can’t avoid it.
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Why did Monday cross the road?
To ruin the other side too.
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What’s Monday’s favorite food?
Leftovers—because it’s all about starting over.
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Why do people avoid Monday morning meetings?
Because Monday is already a meeting nobody asked for.
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What did the weekend say to Monday?
‘Don’t mess this up.’
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How is Monday like a bad hair day?
You just have to get through it.
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Why is Monday always early?
Because it never wants to miss the chance to ruin your morning.
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What’s Monday’s favorite holiday?
National Sleep Day—but it never lets you celebrate.
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How does Monday sign off?
‘See you next week, same time.’
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Why did Monday get a reputation?
Because it shows up without warning every seven days.
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What do you call a Monday with a sense of humor?
A Sunday that just pranked you.
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How is Monday like a pop quiz?
You never feel ready.
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Why do Mondays always seem so long?
Because they stretch like a sad trombone.
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What’s Monday’s favorite phrase?
‘Let the countdown to Friday begin.’
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Why did Monday break the alarm clock?
It couldn’t stand the competition.
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How does Monday apologize?
‘Sorry I’m not sorry.’
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What’s the worst part about Monday?
That it’s followed by Tuesday.
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Why do people dread Monday like a dentist visit?
Because it always finds a cavity in your weekend.
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What did Monday say to Sunday?
‘Your fun is my destruction.’
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How does Monday win arguments?
By showing up on time while you’re still dreaming.
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What’s Monday’s favorite sport?
Marathon—because it never ends quickly.
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Why is Monday like a cold coffee?
Disappointing, but you still have to drink it.
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What do you call a Monday that’s actually nice?
A typo in the calendar.
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How does Monday affect your voice?
It turns happy songs into groans.
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Why don’t Mondays have friends?
Because they always bring the worst news.
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What’s Monday’s biggest fear?
A three-day weekend.