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Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed space.
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What do you call a space magician?
A flying saucerer.
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How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
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Why don't astronauts take baths?
They prefer to shower in meteor showers.
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What's an astronaut's favorite candy?
Mars bars.
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
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How does a planet stay cool?
It has rings.
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What do you call a lazy planet?
A sloth-teroid.
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Why are space jokes so predictable?
Because they always orbit the same punchline.
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How much does a space suit weigh?
About 280 pounds – it’s a moon-suit.
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What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A space rock – it’s always skipping.
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Why did the Moon get a haircut?
It wanted to be a crescent.
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How do you throw a space barbecue?
You Uranus the grill.
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What do astronauts wear to bed?
Star-pajamas.
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Why did the astronaut get locked out of the spaceship?
He forgot his key-cel.
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What's a space robot's favorite hobby?
Satellite photography.
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How do you know the Moon is lazy?
It only works one night a month.
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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder.
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Why did the comet always win at poker?
It had a great tail.
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What do you call a star that sings?
A pop star.
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How do astronauts pay for things?
With cash that’s out of this world – moon-ey.
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Why was the space station so calm?
It had zero atmosphere.
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What’s the best thing about space jokes?
They’re always expanding.
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Why did the alien go to the doctor?
He had a little green cough.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A space boomerang – it orbits forever.
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How do you make a space toilet?
You put a ring around it.
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Why did the astronaut put a trampoline on the Moon?
For a bounce house.
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What’s a spaceship’s favorite song?
Rocket Man.
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Why did the black hole break the microwave?
It couldn’t handle the heat.
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How do you spot a space vampire?
It goes for the jugular – the solar system.
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What did the Earth say to the Sun?
You’re my everything… especially in summer.
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Why did the astronaut take a ladder to the Moon?
To reach the high ground.
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What do you call a space cat?
A purr-seid.
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Why did the galaxy blush?
Because it saw the Big Bang.
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How do astronauts keep their suitcases safe?
With space locks.
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What’s an astronaut’s favorite type of math?
Algebra – it’s all about the X planet.
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Why do scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything – even space.
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What did the moon say to the sun?
You’re too bright for me.
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How do you know Saturn is a good listener?
It always gives you a ring.
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Why did the alien cross the galaxy?
To get to the other side of the milky way.
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What’s the most romantic planet?
Venus, because it’s always love-struck.
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Why did the astronaut get a second job?
To buy a new space suit – his was on the house.
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What do you call a spaceship that plays video games?
A gamer-craft.
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How do planets greet each other?
They wave their rings.
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Why was the meteor so confident?
It knew it could always make an impact.
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What’s the difference between a star and a planet?
About 4.5 billion years.
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Why did the astronaut not fear the black hole?
He knew it was just a space-time thing.
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How do you catch a shooting star?
With a wish and a net.
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What did the telescope say to the astronomer?
I've got my eye on you.
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Why did the dwarf planet get promoted?
It finally found its orbit.