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Why is your momma like a broken pencil?
Because she's pointless.
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Your momma is so old, when she was born,
the Dead Sea was still alive.
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Your momma is so short,
she has to use a ladder to climb onto a curb.
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Your momma is so clumsy,
she tripped over a cordless phone.
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Your momma is so poor,
she can't even afford to pay attention.
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Your momma is so hairy,
Bigfoot took a picture of her.
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Your momma is so slow,
she took a nap in a moving escalator.
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Your momma is so fat,
when she steps on a scale, it says 'one at a time please'.
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Your momma is so lazy,
she uses a drone to change the TV channel.
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Your momma is so dumb,
she tried to cut a mirror in half to make two mirrors.
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Your momma is so ugly,
when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracks a joke.
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Your momma is so old,
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
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Your momma is so skinny,
she can hula hoop with a Cheerio.
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Your momma is so messy,
even dust bunnies avoid her house.
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Your momma is so loud,
she yells at her echo to be quiet.
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Your momma is so forgetful,
she forgot she had a meeting with herself.
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Your momma is so cheap,
she reuses gift wrap from 1995.
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Your momma is so tall,
she has to bend down to use a step stool.
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Your momma is so bald,
her head looks like a doorknob.
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Your momma is so weak,
she uses a straw to drink soup.
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Your momma is so mean,
she made a scarecrow angry.
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Your momma is so thirsty,
she drinks the water from a pool filter.
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Your momma is so smart,
she invented the remote control for her remote control.
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Your momma is so heavy,
when she sits on a chair, it files for divorce.
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Your momma is so pale,
she uses a highlighter as blush.
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Your momma is so wrinkled,
she has to screw her head on every morning.
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Your momma is so old,
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
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Your momma is so grumpy,
she makes a bulldog look cheerful.
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Your momma is so messy,
her kitchen sink has a separate ecosystem.
0
Your momma is so lazy,
she once slept through her own alarm clock's funeral.
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Your momma is so small,
she has to jump to reach the floor.
0
Your momma is so clumsy,
she broke a nail filing her nails.
0
Your momma is so cheap,
she buys a pack of gum and splits it into single servings.
0
Your momma is so fat,
her belt size is 'equator'.
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Your momma is so dumb,
she thinks a web browser is a spider.
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Your momma is so slow,
a turtle once gave her a speeding ticket.
0
Your momma is so ugly,
she made a scarecrow run away.
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Your momma is so hairy,
she used a weed whacker as a razor.
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Your momma is so poor,
she uses a newspaper as a blanket.
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Your momma is so old,
her childhood home is now a museum.
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Your momma is so loud,
when she whispers, it echoes.
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Your momma is so forgetful,
she put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge.
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Your momma is so short,
she has to stand on a stool to reach the bottom shelf.
0
Your momma is so weak,
she can't lift a spoonful of soup.
0
Your momma is so mean,
she scares the flies off a garbage truck.
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Your momma is so skinny,
she can pass through a keyhole.
0
Your momma is so lazy,
she uses a remote control for her remote control.
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Your momma is so heavy,
when she gets on a scale, it says 'I need a break'.
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Your momma is so dumb,
she tried to use a black light to find a dark room.
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Your momma is so ugly,
she looked out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure.