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Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve?
Because he ran a red nose!
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What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
I have no idea, but it still finds the presents!
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What did the snowman say to the carrot?
You're the root of all my problems!
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Why don't elves ever get cold?
They have their own winter gear, plus they stay busy by the workshop fire!
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What does Santa use to bake cookies?
Elf-raising flour!
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What did the gingerbread man name his dog?
Cookie!
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Why was the Christmas tree so bad at singing?
It had too many bulbs!
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How does Snow White stay warm in December?
She uses a layer of applesauce!
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What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
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Why did the reindeer get a medal?
For being outstanding in his sleigh field!
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What do you call a singing Christmas tree?
A Yule-log!
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How do you know Santa is good at math?
He knows how to count his elves!
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What did the little stocking say to the big stocking?
You're always hanging around!
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Why did the Christmas lights break up?
They had too many short circuits!
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What did the penguin wear to the Christmas party?
A tuxedo—it's always formal!
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What does a Christmas elf use to call his friends?
A sleigh-phone!
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Why was the family's Christmas tree so angry?
It had a short fuse and too many ornaments!
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What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?
Comet-ian!
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How do you make a snowman laugh?
Tell him a chilly joke!
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What does Santa do with all the milk and cookies?
He turns them into a waistline!
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Why did Mrs. Claus go to the doctor?
She had a bad case of elf-esteem!
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What's a snowman's favorite breakfast?
Frosty Flakes!
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What did one Christmas ornament say to the other?
You're hanging by a thread!
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Why do reindeer wear sunscreen?
To avoid sunburns, especially Rudolph!
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What did the Christmas star say to the tree?
You light up my night!
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What's the best thing about Christmas stockings?
They always have a foot in the door!
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Where do Christmas elves go on vacation?
To the North Pole Resort!
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What do you call a grown-up elf?
An elder-berry!
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Why did the gingerbread man go to school?
To become a smart cookie!
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What do you get if you eat too many Christmas cookies?
Santa belly!
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How does Santa write his Christmas list?
With a North Pole pen!
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What did the Christmas tree say to the snowman?
You're cool, but I'm rooted!
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What is a reindeer's favorite movie?
The Polar Express!
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Why did the elf stop singing?
He lost his voice from all the jingle bells!
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What do you call a reindeer that runs away?
A runaway sleigh!
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What's the best Christmas gift for a dog?
A bone-anza!
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Why did the snowman use a blow dryer?
To keep his cool!
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What does Miley Cyrus sing at Christmas?
Wrecking Ball… of snow!
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How do you know the Christmas turkey is intelligent?
It uses gravy!
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What does Santa use to clean his workshop?
A reindeer!
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Why was the candy cane so sad?
Because he was peppermintally ill!
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What do you call a Christmas mug that tells jokes?
A pun-ch cup!
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Why did the Christmas goose sit on the roof?
To keep an eye on the sleigh!
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What does an elf do after school?
Goes to elf-help class!
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How do you catch a reindeer?
Use a sleigh-bait!
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What did the Christmas card say to the stamp?
You stick with me!
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Why do Christmas trees hate baseball?
They always get struck out by ornaments!
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What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!
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How does Santa cut his lawn?
With a Claus-mower!
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What's a reindeer's favorite game?
Sleigh-ride!