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Why did the turkey join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
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What's the best thing to put in a Thanksgiving pie?
Your teeth.
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Why do turkeys never play baseball?
They always get basted.
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What did the cranberry say to the gravy?
Stop being so saucy with me!
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Why was the Thanksgiving turkey so sad?
Because all his relatives were stuffed.
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How does a turkey call its family?
On the wishbone.
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What do you call a turkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
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Why did the stuffing break up with the turkey?
It found a better side dish.
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What's the key to a successful Thanksgiving dinner?
A good basting technique.
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Why don't turkeys like Thanksgiving leftovers?
Because they're already stuffed.
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What do you call a turkey who can predict the future?
A fortune-turkey.
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Why was the mashed potato so popular?
It was very smooth.
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What did the pilgrim say to the turkey on Thanksgiving?
You're the main course!
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Why are Thanksgiving leftovers so friendly?
Because they all get together.
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What do you get if you cross a turkey with a robot?
A gravalope.
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How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.
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What's a turkey's favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
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Why did the green bean casserole go to school?
To get a little more crisp.
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What do you call a turkey that's always complaining?
A grouch-y turkey.
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Why did the pilgrim take the turkey to the hospital?
Because it had a fowl fever.
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What do you serve at a Thanksgiving party for ghosts?
Ghoul-ash.
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Why do you always have to cut the turkey's head off before dinner?
Because you can't stuff a live turkey.
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What's a turkey's favorite movie?
The Good, the Bad, and the Stuffed.
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Why did the sweet potato get a promotion?
It always rose to the top.
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What did the pumpkin say to the pie crust?
You're my main squeeze.
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Why was the Thanksgiving parade so cold?
It had too many floats.
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What do you call a turkey that sings?
A gobble-ade.
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How does a turkey say goodbye?
Oh, gravy, you're leaving already?
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Why did the dinner roll break up with the butter?
It couldn't handle the spread.
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What do you call a turkey that's good at math?
A calculator – it always carries the one.
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Why was the cranberry sauce blushing?
Because it saw the turkey dressing.
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What do you get if you cook too much turkey?
A leftovers emergency.
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Why don't pilgrims like to play cards on Thanksgiving?
Because they're afraid of the turkey.
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What's a turkey's favorite song?
You Light Up My Stuffing.
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Why did the pumpkin pie go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit undercooked.
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What do you call a turkey that tells jokes?
A pun-kin.
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Why was the thanksgiving table so well-behaved?
It knew how to set the standard.
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What did the turkey say to the farmer the day after Thanksgiving?
Thanks, I'm done.
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Why are Thanksgiving dinners always so loud?
Because everyone loves a good gobble.
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What do you get when you drop a turkey?
A mess.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken.
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How do you make a turkey laugh?
Tell it a knock-knock joke.
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What's a turkey's least favorite day?
Thanksgiving.
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Why did the cornbread stuffing feel lonely?
Because it was out of its element.
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What do you call a turkey with a college degree?
A smart-aleck.
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Why did the pilgrim polish his shoes before dinner?
Because he wanted to have a sole-ful Thanksgiving.
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What's the best way to eat Thanksgiving leftovers?
With a smile.
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Why was the turkey arrested?
For assault with a deadly stuffing.
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What do you call a turkey who is afraid of everything?
A chicken.
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Why are turkeys so good at Thanksgiving?
Because they're seasoned.