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Why did the spreadsheet get promoted?
Because it always went above and beyond the call of duty.
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What did the boss say when the clock refused to work?
Looks like we'll have to tick-tock our way through the day.
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Why did the office plant get fired?
It kept leaving its leaves on the conference table.
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Why was the calendar always stressed at work?
Too many deadlines to handle.
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How do you fire a glow stick from a desk job?
You tell it to break out of its shell and lighten up.
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Why did the meeting bring a ladder?
To reach the high points of the agenda.
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What did the stapler say to the paper jam?
You're causing a lot of tension around here.
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Why did the keyboard go to therapy?
It had too many issues with shift control.
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Why was the coffee pot always calm?
It knew how to brew a fresh perspective.
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What do you call a team that meets in a circle?
A round-table discussion with no corners to cut.
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Why did the pen refuse to sign the document?
It thought the ink was too permanent.
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Why did the employee bring a stopwatch to the break room?
To time their escape from small talk.
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Why did the filing cabinet win the award?
It kept everything organized under pressure.
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How do you greet a monitor that just woke up?
Morning, screen — still projecting a good image?
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Why did the software engineer bring a parachute to work?
In case the code crashed.
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What did the desk say to the chair?
You've got my support, but stop leaning on me.
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Why did the email get a raise?
Because it always delivered on time.
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Why was the database always invited to meetings?
It had the best tables to sit at.
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Why did the whiteboard get a promotion?
It had a great record of clear communication.
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Why did the printer always get the last laugh?
Because it jammed at the worst moment.
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Why did the mouse pad feel underappreciated?
Everyone always scrolled past it without a second thought.
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Why was the project manager always calm?
They had a deadline for everything except worrying.
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Why did the accountant bring a ladder to work?
To count the high numbers.
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Why did the CEO visit the break room?
To see if the culture was brewing properly.
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Why did the server get sick?
Too many requests without a timeout.
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Why did the intern bring a dictionary to the meeting?
To look up the word 'synergy' for the 100th time.
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Why did the phone refuse to ring?
It was too busy on hold with itself.
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Why did the salaryman bring a mirror to work?
To reflect on his performance review.
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Why did the water cooler become the office therapist?
Everyone came to it for a cold, refreshing perspective.
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Why did the folder get promoted?
It always kept its papers straight.
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Why did the clock get a warning?
It kept second-guessing the schedule.
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Why did the chair hate job interviews?
Too much sitting through pressure.
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Why did the rubber band get fired?
It was too stretched by the workload.
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Why did the sticky note feel lonely?
Nobody stuck with it for long.
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Why did the voicemail get angry?
It kept getting hung up on.
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Why did the employee bring a flashlight to work?
To shed light on dark tasks.
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Why did the coworker always bring a salad?
They wanted to lettuce lower our expectations.
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Why did the mouse complain about the carpet?
It kept getting dragged into pointless sessions.
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Why did the cubicle wall become a poet?
It spent all day working on partitions.
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Why did the email chain go viral?
It had too many forward-thinking ideas.
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Why did the financial report blush?
It was caught red in the black.
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Why did the notepad go on strike?
It was tired of being written off.
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Why did the employee buy a new watch?
To keep track of all the time wasted in meetings.
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Why did the office chair roll away?
It couldn't handle another static work day.
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Why did the spreadsheet split up?
It couldn't find common cells.
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Why did the team leader bring a map?
To navigate the strategic retreat.
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Why did the stapler feel left out?
Everyone kept using it for binding decisions.
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Why did the intern answer the phone with a song?
They thought it was a ringtone carpool.
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Why did the salary get a headache?
Too many deductions without any growth.
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Why did the office motto change to 'Keep calm and carry on'?
Because the previous one was 'Don't panic, it's just Tuesday'.