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Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse.
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What do you call a cat that likes to bowl?
An alley cat.
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How does a cat end a fight?
It hisses and then paws for peace.
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Why are cats terrible storytellers?
They only have one tail.
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What did the mama cat say to her kitten?
You're purr-fect just the way you are.
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Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
It wanted to be a first-aid kit.
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What kind of cat likes to go fishing?
A catfish.
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Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-alpa tree.
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Why was the cat so good at video games?
It had lightning-fast reflexes.
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What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A sourpuss.
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Why do cats make terrible musicians?
They always want to play the purr-cussion.
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How do you stop a cat from digging in the garden?
Hide its shovel.
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What's a cat's favorite movie?
The Lion King.
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Why did the cat go to the dentist?
To get a new set of whiskers.
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What do you call a cat with no legs?
Nothing — it won't come anyway.
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Why did the cat cross the road?
To get to the other litter box.
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What did the cat say when it lost its toys?
I'm not kitten around, where are they?
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Why are cats so good at hide and seek?
They have nine lives to practice.
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What do you call a cat that can dance?
A tap-paw.
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Why did the cat refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of the cheetah.
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How does a cat write a letter?
With a purr-manent marker.
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What's a cat's favorite color?
Purr-ple.
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Why did the cat get a job at the bakery?
It kneaded the dough.
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What do you call a scared cat?
A fraidy cat.
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Why don't cats like fast food?
Because they can't catch it.
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What did the cat say when it saw a ghost?
You've got to be kitten me.
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How do you know if a cat has been using the internet?
It leaves paw prints on the keyboard.
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What do you call a cat that breaks the law?
A copycat.
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Why did the cat put on a cape?
It wanted to be a Super-cat.
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What's a cat's favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse.
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Why do cats always win at chess?
They're masters of the pawn-tastic strategy.
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What do you call a cat with a cold?
A sneeze-ling.
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Why did the cat wear a tuxedo?
It had a purr-ty to attend.
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How does a cat say goodbye?
I'll be feline fine without you.
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What did the cat say after a long nap?
I'm well-rested, but I could use another nine hours.
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Why did the cat bring a ladder to the bar?
It heard the drinks were on the house.
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What do you call a cat that can't stop eating?
A fat-cat.
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Why did the cat become an astronaut?
It wanted to see the mouse hole on the moon.
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How do you catch a cat?
Just act like a laser pointer.
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What's a cat's favorite song?
Who Let the Cats Out?
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Why did the cat start a band?
It had a natural purr-cussion.
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What do you call a cat that loves to swim?
A drench-ian.
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Why was the cat so good at math?
It knew how to count its nine lives.
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What did the cat say when it got a promotion?
This is the cat's meow.
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Why don't cats play hide and seek with dogs?
Because dogs always find them… and then chase them.
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How do you make a cat happy?
Give it a box — any box.
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What's a cat's favorite game?
Paw and mouse.
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Why did the cat take up knitting?
To make its own purr-sonal sweaters.
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What do you call a cat that tells jokes?
A punny puss.