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Why did the lame joke go to school?
To get a little less lame, but it failed gym class.
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What do you call a joke that’s so bad it hurts?
A dad joke—and it’s my dad’s only form of exercise.
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How do you know a joke is lame?
It brings its own crutch.
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Why did the comedian tell a lame joke?
He wanted to give the audience a break from laughing.
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What’s the difference between a lame joke and a horse?
One is put out to pasture, the other is a horse of course.
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Why are lame jokes like old cheese?
They get staler the more you tell them, but someone still eats them up.
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How do you make a lame joke worse?
Add a pun and a pause.
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Why did the lame joke apologize?
It knew it was a drag.
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What do you get when you cross a lame joke with a sigh?
A groan-worthy moment that last exactly three seconds.
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Why don’t lame jokes ever win awards?
They trip over the punchline every time.
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How can you spot a lame joke from across the room?
Everyone’s rolling their eyes instead of laughing.
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Why did the lame joke go to therapy?
It had a complex about being too predictable.
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What’s a lame joke’s favorite song?
‘I Will Survive’ – because people always groan but it keeps coming back.
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Why did the joke writer only write lame jokes?
He couldn’t think of anything better on the spot.
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What do you call a group of lame jokes?
A pity party.
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Why are lame jokes like flat tires?
They need a pump to get any reaction.
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How does a lame joke apologize?
‘Sorry, I’m not very punny.’
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Why did the lame joke get a ticket?
It failed to yield a laugh.
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What’s a lame joke’s secret power?
Making you wish you hadn’t asked.
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Why did the lame joke cross the road?
To get to the other side of the groan.
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How do you compliment a lame joke?
‘That was … exactly what I expected.’
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Why are lame jokes like leftovers?
They’re better the second time… no, wait, they’re not.
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What did the audience say to the lame joke?
‘We’ve heard that one before, and it wasn’t funny then either.’
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Why did the lame joke break up with the good joke?
It couldn’t handle the pressure of being funny.
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What’s the best thing about a lame joke?
It’s over quickly.
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Why did the lame joke get a standing ovation?
Everyone stood up to leave.
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How do you tell a lame joke is coming?
The teller clears their throat and says, ‘This one’s a real knee-slapper.’
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What do you call a lame joke that’s also a pun?
Double trouble.
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Why are lame jokes like bad haircuts?
You can’t unhear them.
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How does a lame joke start?
With a sigh from the audience before it even begins.
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What’s the difference between a lame joke and a knock-knock joke?
One is lame, the other is a knock-knock joke.
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Why did the lame joke go to the doctor?
It felt a bit flat.
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What do you call a lame joke that’s been recycled?
A classic groaner.
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How do you punish a lame joke?
Make it listen to itself.
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Why do lame jokes always wear stripes?
Because they’re so corny.
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What did the lame joke say to the comedian?
‘I’m not lame, I’m just… understated.’
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Why are lame jokes like broken records?
They keep repeating and no one enjoys it.
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How do you know a joke is truly lame?
Your grandma has used it in her email signature.
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What do you get when you mix a lame joke and a bad pun?
A pun-ishment.
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Why did the lame joke get a degree in philosophy?
It wanted to be deep, but it’s still shallow.
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What’s a lame joke’s favorite day?
Funday – because every day is a day for a bad joke.
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Why did the lame joke retire?
It couldn’t keep up with the punchlines.
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How do you make a lame joke funny?
Tell it to a five-year-old.
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What’s the lifespan of a lame joke?
Exactly two seconds – until the groan hits.
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Why are lame jokes like mosquitoes?
They’re annoying and you wish they’d go away.
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How can you improve a lame joke?
Cut off the punchline and pretend you never started.
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What did the audience member say after a lame joke?
‘I’ll never get that time back.’
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Why did the lame joke go to the gym?
To build some muscle and finally deliver a knockout punchline.
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What’s a lame joke’s favorite social media?
Twitter – because everyone groans in under 280 characters.
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Why did the lame joke change its name?
It wanted to be called ‘The Classic’ but everyone still groaned.